WoF OC Reviews

Commander Shadowstalker

Okay, so I like that you went into depth (sort of) with it, but really the rest of the personality past "Shadowstalker is a harsh dragon with a big ego" is a bit... unnecessary. He needs more traits. Is he ambitious? Cruel, perhaps? Reckless?

Backstory: Shadowstalker was born in a cluster of three eggs. Ironically, he was the runt of the trio, constantly being picked on my his two sisters, Duskwatcher

That's a good name, I think, although does her name have to do with her appearance or occupation? If it doesn't, I don't recommend changing her name; just make it so her name DOES have something to do with her appearance/occupation.

If you want to make it have something to do with her occupation, perhaps Duskwatcher is a guard with a night shift and she takes her shift at dusk?

and Midnight. His mother, Truama,

Do you mean Trauma? If that's what you meant, I sorta like it. If Truama is what you actually did mean, then uh, could you tell me what it means?

usually kept him close and away from those two, though he usually protested out of the embarrassment it brought to him. His father, Moongaze,

OK the names are sort of getting ridiculous now. Moongaze? His gaze is the moon? The name sounds like a weird background character in a ripoff My Little Pony show.

Again, it is important to make the name either:


— Related to the NightWing's occupation or appearance (for example, a name like, uh, Discretion, for a NightWing spy or a scout; or a name like Jewel-eyes for a dragon who has weird or peculiar looking eyes)

OR

— Related to their abilities (for example, a name like... ooh! Fatereader!)

OR

— NightWing-ish-y (a name like Mightyclaws)

would usually take his sisters to the heart of the Night Kingdom, claiming that poor Shadowstalker was "too weak" to come along. His mother would always fight him for saying this, and the once happy couple divorced. She took Shadowstalker, while the sisters stayed with their father.

Growing up in this new place, on the other side of the Night Palace (I will pause right now to say that I have only been able to read up to the second book, and I don't know if the Nightwings had a palace to begin with. Don't hate me please)

I would say something, but um, I don't want to spoil absolutely anything. Also, I would never hate you child.

Shadowstalker found himself surrounded further by politics and royalty. When Truama was off at work as a bartender, he would make visits to the library and read scrolls about the other tribes, and strangely enough, found an interest in the Icewings. He couldn't imagine how they could like the cold so much, since he had only know the heat and humidity of the rainforest (Yes, I know that in the fourth book, the volcano that the Nightwings lived around blew up and they moved in the Rainwings Forest. Yay for spoilers)

Grrr... I want to spoil MORE but I CAN'T... tbh I would hate someone for spoiling something for me, but GAH it practically HURTS to not be able to review the OC correctly because of not being able to spoil.

He couldn't imagine how they could like the cold so much, since he had only known the heat and humidity of the rainforest. Their fascination with the snow and ice made little Shadowstalker fascinated with them. When he matured into an adult, he made it his own personal goal to meet an Icewing, maybe even go to the Ice Kingdom, but this goal would be postponed until he was twenty due to a large scale civil war between the Rainwings and Nightwings. The Rainwing Queen, Harmony, felt that two tribes in one forest was too much and blamed a famine in the Rainwing Kingdom on the fact that the Nightwings were in the same forest.