Exploitation

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Wrong.
That's what I feel inside,
I want to put everything aside.

Not to feel miserable,
And just be a little capable.

My conscience eating me consistently,
As if I am a criminal and don't deserve opportunity.

I am a human and I made a mistake,
But it feels like my life is at stake.

I want to be a good person and be kind,
Yet the demons crowd my mind.

I was never born a sinful,
I was never this spiteful.

It feels like my rage is the source,
Who brought me this remorse.

Everyday I think I am moving,
But nothing seems to be improving.

I stumble down and lose my footing,
With more injury and more grieving.

I hate to be like this 
I hate the person I've become
Who is lost and pathetic 
Who is unaware of what's to come.

When I think about it and the cause,
I feel it was all because,
The fact that I felt low, 
In the middle of no sympathy to show.

It was all due to the fact that I felt disparaged,
The feeling emanated inside me and made me enraged.

Now when I think about it I wonder,
If it was just my imagination that I made a blunder.

Here I am sitting with a feeling of self loathing,
Where there's no one to understand my feeling.

I wonder now what's the purpose of my life,
And what have I ever done to exist other than strife.

I pray to God to help me bear this pain,
Or else I will lose myself or become insane.

Nobody understands 
Nobody cares
I am left with nothing
Except for self loathing.

***

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