𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐄

順序; 00

　　　　The girl with the onyx tresses couldn't envision herself living a tedious adulthood but perhaps that was one of the reasons why she couldn't come up with a dream she could be ardent about. It was quite hard for the young female to fall into a monotonous rhythm and to be stuck in an office with uptight coworkers only to repeat the same thing the next day, it was not something she looked forward to- it made her restless. The mundanity of the unchanging routine brought her a sense of foreboding knowing the fact that there's a possibility of her future ending up just like that, the very thought of it all suffocates her. Although she lacked motivation and was no longer an overly zealous person, the teen was afraid of choosing a path where she can never be proud of.

　　　　In short, the young Maruyama did not want to impulsively decide just for the sake of "choosing", only to regret it for the rest of her life.

　　　　During the past few years in her old classes, the teachers would tend to dismiss her tribulations and say, "It will get better," or "You'll find out what you want soon. You're still young after all."

　　　　But alas, those words seemed to be filtered, cocooned with sweetened honey to feed a starving heart, only to leave it ravenous once she realized that they were only feeding her uncertain promises to an equivocal future. Promises that left her questioning when will "soon" be and why couldn't it be "now". People tend to live their lives differently and even their reactions to each of the problems thrown in their way differ consequently, the ravenette was dubious of the optimistic claims that they tend to shower her with. Creating a false reassurance of what tomorrow will bring albeit having no guarantee was easy for they were not the ones experiencing the pressure. They were not the ones who couldn't bring themselves to sleep because their minds were littered with anxieties, forcing their brain to pay attention to each one of it.

　　　　If they have managed to pull through despite their angst and distress, then good for them. However, at the end of the day, they were not the ones with rapid heartbeats and having palpitations after drowning themselves in an intensive amount of caffeine, just to numb out the deafening thoughts inside their heads. No, she was the one who was up past midnight with only her thoughts as her unwanted company.

　　　　A sonorous thud bounced on the four walls of Rikka's room when her forehead hit the notebook on top of her desk which caused a pained groan to escape from her lips. Her short charcoal locks cascading down on each side of her head while her forehead leaned on the desk. Fortunately for her, she took off her eyeglasses before she started writing down her notes, albeit accidentally getting distracted from the task.

　　　　"Mou, it's not like it's their fault either," the apprehensive teen huffed, countering her previous thoughts as she broke the silence that ruled her bedroom. Then she pressed the right side of her face on her notebook before sighing in defeat, "They're just trying to help. Well, I guess."

　　　　Pinkish lips involuntarily quivered while a pair of lapis lazuli crystals shone with unshed tears as another thought crossed her mind. "I don't even know where I wanted to go for highschool," she muttered, scrunching her nose in an attempt to stop the stinging sensation in her eyes.

　　　　With a tremulous breath, the young girl rose from her desk, ignoring her body's protests and its calls to procrastinate from continuing her work. Although it seems that the young girl didn't need further convincing for once she held her pen, instantaneously, like it has a mind of its own, her right hand started moving to sketch a simple flower at the upper right corner of the current page of her notebook. Rikka knew that she should stop stalling with her work since the notes she borrowed were to be returned to its owner in the morning, but the young girl still proceeded to continue working on her sketch until she was satisfied. As always, art was her priority especially when a rare burst of inspiration flowed within her mind.