RUSH

Ch. 6: Riptide

They were such pretty, sensible words. They were so encompassingly vague and brimming with promise. There was ample potential to their warmth, and so much to blindly cling onto. And to hopelessly long for.

But they were often more representative of an impulse rather than a promise, as pessimistic as that sounded. They were meant to be enough. Anything else was usually too much, an overflowing bucket caught under the torrent of a running hose...

The way I often saw it unintentionally reflected within my being.

It was everywhere I turned, from my unsteady hand that refused to twist the car door, to my hypocritical wandering eyes that could no longer meet his gaze. I drowned in my own feelings when I least expected it.

I could feel them bubbling up so aggressively, threatening to pull me under.

The concern in Mason's eyes was as intimidating as the scowl he typically bore, even if for its own set of reasons.

"Hey," Mason called out once more, softer this time. "Bennett."

Why did I feel like this now?

Was it that the slowness of the bus usually gave me more time to grow re-acquaintanced with the restless feeling of making it back? Or was it that at least then I got to walk back from the bus stop and felt the crisp, cool night soothing the darkest of my thoughts before I headed inside?

I would always inhale the cold air in large gasps, greedily indulging in how the noisy, harsh wind would muffle even the most brutal of my intrusive thoughts. I'd take the long way back from the bus stop, aimlessly walking around the neighborhood until the final light had turned off and I knew I'd be greeted by silence.

"The lights are on," I finally explained... as if that was supposed to mean anything to him. I could feel a few tears prickling at the corners of my eyes, yet I harshly wiped them away with the back of my hands before they could trail down my face. It was pathetic how easily I could be swayed by my own emotions, but perhaps someday I'd get better at it. I had to cling onto that possibility, lest I be swept away without even putting up a fight.

Mason sighed and leaned back against his seat, his hand not dropping from where it'd settled on my shoulder once more. "It's still pretty early, huh?" he asked while looking out the window, humming pensively under his breath.

"You said—"

"I know what I said," Mason continued, tsking under his breath. "Hey, put your seatbelt back on," he muttered off-handedly even as he let go of my shoulder and put the car back into drive, suddenly merging back into the street, and driving off... leaving my house behind like it was nothing. Like it was easy.

I stared at the light peeking through the windows as we turned the corner, opening my mouth to complain before reconsidering it. I felt the tenseness already leaving my body in waves, a sigh of relief escaping past my lips as I slowly relaxed against the seat.

I thought you said it was too dark out.

---

We sat in silence, but it wasn't necessarily uncomfortable. I frowned at the paper bag resting on my lap, unable to help the way my mouth watered by the mere smell of warm food. I warily peeked inside, staring at the long, golden pieces cradled in a smaller paper bag, before closing it once more.

Somehow, we ended up parked in the parking lot of Luna Burger Shack, a fast-food joint near my house. Mason had eagerly gone through the drive-thru and ordered us two cheeseburger meal combos, enthusiastically handing me one of the paper bags despite my complaints that I wasn't really hungry and to please stop spending money on me, for fuck's sake.