RUSH

Ch. 12: Circles

-Bennett-

"So, yeah, I nearly got fired today because I'm an idiot," I murmured, tiredly stretching across my bed. Waiting for the bus had been hell, but at least I'd arrived home so unusually early from the gym that I was surprisingly greeted by a quiet stillness.

"Stop calling yourself an idiot, idiot," Eve's distant voice scolded me from where it seeped out from my phone's speaker. "And why? Who are we fighting?"

"Me, I think," I confessed, smiling softly when she burst out laughing. "I'm—I don't know. I've just been feeling worse than usual lately. No real reason."

Eve hummed under her breath before tsking softly. "Shit. And here I thought you'd seemed a bit happier the past few days, at least on the phone. You even agreed to go out and watch a movie with me this weekend."

I sighed at the reminder. "About that—"

"No! Nope! I'll drag you by force if I have to! We haven't hung out in ages," Eve whined, her voice tentatively hopeful... like she wasn't completely serious about driving over, knocking me out cold, and kidnapping me. She'd probably figure out a way to rope my parents into helping carry my body into her car as well.

"Don't forget the rope," I muttered sarcastically, feigning irritation despite knowing she had a point. She wasn't wrong to insist; I always stressed about making plans, but then I always managed to relax and have a good time whenever I didn't bail. Besides, I did miss her terribly.

Eve and I had been rather inseparable during high school; however, nowadays not many of our college classes coincided and one of us always managed to be busy during the weekend. We did have a History course in common right now, but taking the bus to work meant I had to either book it to the bus stop right after class ended or risk walking over to the gym and being late. It was kind of a no-brainer.

Occasionally we tried to meet up at the campus cafeteria before class to catch up, but that was also a rare occurrence, particularly since neither one of us was naturally a morning person.

"See, if you lived on campus, we could hang out so much more... like before."

"You got dorm money?"

"Maybe if that bastard didn't take all your income, you'd be able to afford it! Or we could even find a third roomie and rent a pad near campus! Wouldn't that be nice?" she rambled about possible solutions like she usually did, likely hoping that fabricating such sweet delusions would alter reality somehow.

Yeah, that'd be nice.

"It's not up to me." The phrase felt familiarly galling rolling off my tongue, yet the sourness was only an ephemeral aftertaste now that I'd resigned myself to it. I'd been so full of bottled-up rage back when I was younger, but that blazing ire had long since dimmed down to a mere flicker. The flames didn't lick at my feet like they used to. My skin and muscles and joints had all melted down along with it, sliding off my bones and cascading onto the cherry wooden tiles beneath my feet.

The floor appeared a brighter shade of red now, despite its deteriorated state.

"You're nearly nineteen. You're an adult now!" Eve protested with the same intensity she'd had back when she told me, "You're nearly fifteen; he can't keep treating you like this!" And just like back then, and with every subsequent, yearly iteration, it didn't mean all that much; age didn't come into play when it came to what I could and couldn't do.