Love the Lost BxB

Grief (Jeff)

Climbing the final steps back to his room, Jeff saw Jessy walk out, his eyes clouded with pain as he made his way passed and started down the stairs. Walking towards his room, Jeff saw the door was still open slightly. Pain was the only thing he could feel, and he numbly opened the door the rest of the way and walked inside before shutting it behind him. Walking over to the small space they called the kitchen, he reached for a small plastic cup and a large bottle of white tail whiskey that Jessy had bought some time ago. Looking over towards his bed, he saw Mathew laying against the wall by the door and he blinked in surprise. Breaking the seal on the whiskey, he began to pour a shot into the cup, then paused looking over at Mathew. Fucking hell, why does he have to be here. He thought as he filled it to the top and wandered over to Mathew. "Here," He grumbled as he handed the cup to Mathew. "That face you have is the face of how I feel."

"I-I guess so..." Mathew replied, accepting the cup without looking up, and started to chug the whiskey. He managed to knock back a third of the cup before coughing and spitting it back up onto himself and the carpet around him. "What kind of booze is that?" He asked in disgust as he handed the cup back, a scowl on his defined lips. "Got anything else, I can't stand that taste."

"You look like your heart got broken, and you're complaining about the booze?" Jeff took the cup back and filled it back to the top before starting to down it. He ignored the burning at the back of his throat as he downed the whole cup in one long fluid motion. He looked at the cup in frustration, then the bottle. "And I lost my only chance at love because of that fucker Spencer!" He spat before throwing the plastic cup against the wall where Jessy's bed was. When it clattered against the wall, a few droplets of the whiskey splashed out, then started to roll down the wall.

Mathew giggled uncomfortably, watching the brown liquid slowly get absorbed by the horrible olive green wallpaper. "Yeah..." Mathew scooted a bit closer to Jeff's leg as Jeff sat down. After taking a long tug from the bottle, he looked over at Mathew and sighed. The small man put his arm around Jeff's shoulder, but he didn't care enough to try and move it. "Men suck..."

Jeff took another pull from the bottle feeling the numbness in his stomach burn. "You got that right shortstop, men suck." He looked over at the smaller man. He was broken, the same kind of broken as Jeff, and small feelings of pity began to gnaw at him as his feelings slowly began to numb. "I'm sorry I pissed Jessy off today. If I knew what repercussions would have come from today, I would have just exited through the first door and ignored that fucker for another day." He sighed again, taking another drink from the bottle as his sadness slowly turned to bitterness. "Brant was so close, now I'll probably never see him again..."

"You don't know that." Mathew spoke up, startling Jeff from his melancholic state. "Brant's an understanding guy. I-I told him I loved him once." Jeff glared over at him, irritated with his confession before taking another swig of the now half-empty bottle. "I was trying to move away from Jessy after we broke up and he had to go live with his aunt. Brant was really nice about the whole thing, said that he was taken. It didn't matter how far away you were though, he claimed that you two were still dating." Mathew looked over at him awkwardly, "Besides, if he waited three years for you, I'm sure he will be willing to at least hear you out. This is all a big misunderstanding right?" He extended his other arm and reached for the bottle. Jeff passed it to him with a bitter feeling in his chest as he thought about his brief conversation that night. Mathew took a small sip of the bottle and cringed. "I can't say the same about Jessy though. He's too hot-tempered, my guess is he's going to probably go get drunk, then go sleep with some random person. When he wakes up, he's going to feel guilty about what happened, then start ignoring me again. When I finally find a way to try and talk to him again, he will get mad, then find some reason to get more booze in his system, then start the cycle over again..." He sighed again before taking another drink of the bitter brown liquid. "All this because of a stupid English paper..."