Raindrops | Poetry

12:07 am

//trigger warning: sexual assault//

12:07 am
my ma is sleeping next to my baba
their eyes closed like
tender leaves curled
when spring unfurls;
i wonder what they dream about -
their faces have no answers, yet.

12:10 am
my uncle slowly peeps into the room
i think, he could see in the darkness,
that my eyes had no sleep.
he whispered my name softly,
no one but i heard.
he knew i heard.
i took a deep breath and
i knew i had to go.

12:11 am
he tells me it's too hot to sleep,
he tells me it's too dark to sleep,
he tells me it's too lonely to sleep.
i count the lines on his forehead
and it tells me the number of lies he just said.
i keep quiet, because
my mom taught me so.

12:12 am
before i could blink away
the throbbing fear in my eyes,
his hands reach my waist,
under my shirt -
something changed in me, that moment.
there was just silence in me, ma,
just like you taught.
in that moment, i wanted to wake you up,
ask you if silence was ever thought of an answer, though.

01:09 am
i ran out of words to fill in this poem,
like just i ran out of water that night.
i still couldn't rub him off my skin.
i still can't.
it felt as if i lost my limbs,
my poems,
myself that night.
i wonder how bad it looked,
that even the moon hid behind the clouds.

01:34 am
i lay quietly beside my ma and my baba,
careful not to let my tears
get too loud to wake them up.
i look at their faces once again,
wonder what they dream about.
this time, i could see an answer -
they dream about me.
i laugh.
i laugh and cry myself to sleep.

Author's note:
I'm sorry, I can't write an author's note this time.