Silk || hs

Pi Kappa Alpha

When I return to my dorm, I expect my roommates to either still be out or asleep, but alas, all three of them are still very much awake. The second I walk through the door, they all start screaming at me, clearly still drunk from their night out. I guess the party scene was a good one this evening, or I guess morning now since it's nearly light outside.

"Camryyyyyyn," Sadie whines from her place on the floor, her arm outreached towards me. She begins waving it around wildly, "Come heeeere. Tell us about your sexy TA. Did y'all fuuuuuck?" I stifle a laugh as the other two girls echo Sadie's curiosity, and I am rather aggressively forced onto the couch to tell them about my evening.

They nearly lose their minds when I tell them about the dancing and the wine. If I'm being honest, I get absurdly excited telling them everything about the night. It takes some probing at first, but once I get started talking about the dancing, I can't stop talking about Harry and how amazing the night was and how amazing he is. I tell them about driving around in his truck, listening to all sorts of music, talking about the most random things, and even stopping for hash browns at Waffle House. I don't mean to jinx my entire future, but I feel like this date with Harry will forever be the best date of my entire life.

"Do you think you'll see him again? I mean, other than in class?" Jess asks me as she gives Sadie and Gabrielle a glass of water. They are both much drunker than she is and are in desperate need of hydration.

"I think so," I mumble. "He asked me to go to his fraternity's party next Friday and I told him I would go. I think I really like him, but I just don't know what he's thinking." At the mere mention of the word "fraternity," my roommates' attention is further captured and they suddenly bombard me for an answer to their many questions regarding why I hadn't led with that information and which fraternity it is.

I shrug, "I'm sorry, I didn't think it was important." At this, they roll their eyes, but continue to beg for the answer for the more important question. "I think he's in Pi Kappa Alpha or something like that, I don't remember. I think he's the president, too, so I guess that's cool." When the words leave my mouth, all hell breaks loose and my roommates go absolutely insane telling me how lucky I am- or at least, the conscious ones do. Gabrielle has evidently fallen asleep.

I lay in bed thinking of him and of how ridiculously infatuated I am with everything about him. I don't even know him all that well, but I feel like I know all I need to know. He's beautiful and funny and charming and a complete gentleman and I can't possibly hope to hold onto someone like that. With that disappointing thought tainting my wonderful evening, I drift into a restless sleep that does nothing but add to my exhaustion.

The next day, I expect to hear from Harry, but to my dismay, I don't. He has my number and my Snapchat so the only thing stopping him from reaching out to me is himself. I can't say I'm surprised, but I am nonetheless very disappointed. Each passing second weighs on my spirits heavily and further solidifies my fear of the inevitable. He may have asked me to his party for next weekend, but if he never texts me, there is no chance in hell that I am going.

By Monday, I still haven't heard anything from Harry, and my anxiety about it nearly convinces me to skip history class. What if he's there and doesn't even acknowledge me? What if he does acknowledge me? Shaking off these concerns, I decide that my education is far more important than this boy who probably won't even mean anything to me in a week, so skipping class is not an option. When I walk into class, this time much later than usual, I expect to see him, but I don't. A strange feeling of relief and disappointment wells up in my chest as I take a seat next to the frat boy I normally sit next to.

Apparently, this kid's name is John Simmons and he is a double legacy for Harry's fraternity Pi Kappa Alpha. Harry said that the legacy bit was the only reason John got a bid in the first place, so I can't help but feel bad for the kid. Regardless of all that, today in Harry's absence, I decide that John and I will be friends. If I'm too busy obsessing over a boy to make friends, then I have already failed my standards for myself.