I Solemnly Swear That I'm Up To No Good

10-Holy Shit, I Feel Like Such A Fucking Girl Right Now

10-‘Holy Shit, I Feel Like Such A Fucking Girl Right Now’

It’s been a couple of hours since I last talked to Zach. There’s a mini fridge in here, so I don’t think I’ll run out of food or water. I’m currently cuddled up in the air mattress, drowning in Ryder’s sent, reading some of his car and sport magazines. To tell you the truth, I can’t even concentrate on them. I’m too worried Ryder is going to find me.

My eyes keep averting over to the door and the little crawl-in. Dammit, I should’ve stole his key when he wasn’t looking. Then he wouldn’t be able to come in here. I lean against the wall, the covers of the air mattress up to my chin. They smell so good.

“Ryder, you have to find her. I don’t know where she is,” I hear Zach’s muffled voice. I immediately jump out of the bed and to the wall with the crawl-in. I press my ear against the wall to hear him talk in the game room.

“Why? She’s probably mad as hell at me,” Ryder’s depressed voice floats through.

“Just at least talk to her. She was talking to me this morning and-”

“What did she say? Anything about me? Does she like me?” He groans, “Of course she doesn’t like me. She likes you.”

I start choking, but slap a hand over my mouth to muffle the sound. Can’t blow my cover now. “What? Ryder, she doesn’t like me. Trust me. You have to talk to her,” Zach practically screams.

It’s silence for a view moments. “…Fine. I’ll find her.”

“And talk to her.”

“And talk to her,” Ryder confirms.

I hear shuffling and I think they both leave. I breathe out a sigh of relief. A knock comes on the crawl space and my breath freezes.

“Gabi? I know you’re in there,” His deep, lack of sleep voice murmurs through the wall.

What do I do? Answer him? Pretend I’m not here? 

So I keep quiet.

“Look, babe,” He sighs, “I’m sorry, okay? I’m really, really, really sorry. Last night…” He sighs again. “You want the truth? Last night I was trying to make you jealous. I was jealous of that damn guy you were dancing with. It made me so angry that I got drunk, flirted with some girls and made out with one of them. Just to make you jealous. Hell, I think it worked. I don’t fucking know.”

He groans, and I can picture him slumped across the wall, running a hand through his hair. “I hate it when you hang out with Zach. I think you have a crush on him, or whatever. I try to make your attention stay on me for as long as possible. Ever realize that? I want your attention. Swinging arms around your shoulders, the arguments, the smirks that I know you hate. All of it. I want you to focus on me. And if I don’t try, if I just sit back, you’ll forget about me. I know you will.

“That night, in the pool, I wanted to kiss you. I’ve always want to kiss you. But I was stupid and chickened out because I didn’t know if you liked me. It’s stupid, I know. I lied when I said Zach dared me. I lied when I said I hate you. I lied when I said I needed your help with the prank. I could’ve done it myself, but I wanted your attention. Again. I couldn’t handle not talking to you, it was driving me fucking insane. And it was the perfect opportunity to talk to you again.