His Watchful Eye

Chapter 7- Questions

     

   Fighting back tears, Georgia watched the joy and relief that was evident on the faces of Mr. and Mrs. Marks as Greta was carried into the police station. While she was filled with thankfulness that the girl had been returned home, she wanted so badly to know how Henry's dinosaur had come to be in that cold, dark cellar. Was he down there with Greta, or had the toy been left there weeks ago? There had to be a way she could ask the child some questions, but how? That was Mulaney's territory, and she had not landed in her good graces.

The thought crossed her mind to pray that she would get a chance to speak with Greta, but how could that help? God didn't care about her, and she could hardly ask Colin to say a prayer for her; not after she had repulsed all his attempts at friendship. Why did she constantly let her pride and independence get in the way and foul everything up? Pushing people away and relying completely on herself was totally involuntary for her at this point in her life, and she hated it. Her pride was like a ball and chain that held her back from feeling any real happiness. It kept her in a friendless prison, and she so badly wanted to break free, but had no idea how; she had been trapped in her cell for so long.

Sensing someone move to her side, she was surprised to see Colin join her in watching the happy reunion between Greta and her parents. "This is what makes everything we do worth it." He flashed her a satisfied smile.

Nodding her head, Georgia had to agree with him. It was wonderful bringing families back together, and secretly she hoped for a happy ending of her own one day soon. Seeing the traumatized look on little Greta's face had forced her mind to go to a place she had consciously kept it from in the past. Today had made her wonder what Henry was going through. Formerly she had only let herself believe that someone had taken him and was taking care of him...maybe they had lost a child of their own and wanted a little boy to love. That was the only thought she would allow her mind to think, because the alternatives were entirely too terrifying to comprehend. After finding her son's little dinosaur in a dark, filthy cellar, she knew that he was not being cherished by some bereaved mother. Her eyes began to sting from the salty flood she was holding back with sheer will.

"You ok?" The sympathetic look in Colin's eyes almost caused the dam to burst again, but she couldn't let that happen.

"I will be. Don't you worry about me." Her voice sounded husky to her own ears.

"You need to let someone worry about you." Raking his hand through his hair, he shook his head. "You can't keep trying to handle everything on your own. That's no way to live."

"Do you think I don't know that? Do you honestly think I like the way my life has turned out? I hate it, Beckner! I hate that people think I am some kind of heartless hag who has no feelings. I know that everyone thinks I'm the Ice Queen, but I have feelings just like everyone else...I just choose to keep them to myself." Closing her eyes tightly, she wished that she could take her words back. He surely didn't want an invitation to the pity party she was throwing for herself.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you are a heartless hag."

"Don't lie to me, Beckner. That's what everyone thinks; why should you be any different?" Shaking her head, Georgia turned her back to him.

To her surprise, he took hold of her arm and spun her around to face him. "Stop pushing me away, Georgia. I don't know what has happened to you, and whatever it is, I'm so sorry you had to go through it, but trust me when I say that I want to be your friend. Life may have dealt you a bad hand, but don't allow your past to make you bitter; let it make you better."