Nagulat ako nung tinawag pa ko ni chase. I wanted to stand up and take jonel’s hand and walk towards the middle and dance with him kahit pa tatlong minute but all I find is myself nodding… agreeing na, oo… ayokong makasama si jonel when deep down within, all I wanted is to be with him.
I was fighting all feelings I have para lang mapigilan yung patak ng luha ko by seeing how jonel reacted. Mabuti na lang nasa tabi niya si ivan at bigla syang hinila.
“Tangina, brad… ilayo mo nga ko kay Jessie saglit. Di ko lang nasalo yung garment ang dami nang sinasabi.”
Pagkaalis na pagkaalis nung dalawa, hindi ko na nakontrol yung pagtulo ng luha ko.
“Okay ka lang baby? Umiiyak ka ba?”
Pinunasan ko yung luha ko tapos tumingin ako sa kanya and then smiled.
“Di ah… okay lang ako. Okay lang ako.”
Why is it so easy to deny what’s so obvious to see? Hindi ako okay. Hindi ako masaya. Pero wala akong magawa! Wala akong magawa cause this is my choice!! Ito yung pinili ko. Ito yung pinili ko…
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Pagkalabas na pagkalabas namin ni ivan ng hall, dumiretso kami sa may garden and as soon as I found a wall to burst all the bullshits I am feeling, I immediately punched it hard.
Ah tangina.
I feel like going crazy from all the twist of events. Masakit yung gma panahong hanggang tingin lang ako, knowing na kahit anong gawin ko, hindi na babalik yung kung anong meron kami dati but it hurts more as hell to see her right a few steps from me, knowing she still loves me and not do a fuck about it. I feel useless, I feel hopeless.
Chapter69: Closure Part2
Magsimula sa umpisa
