Suicidal Quotes

My life (Read to know me)

I just lay here in the darkness of my room hearing my family members sleep.

They think I sleep, Fuck no! I can't sleep, I never can! I just lay here till the fucking sun shines, no one knows of my insomnia but me and the voices in my head.

Footsteps break my thoughts as I hear someone nearby. I'll just hide my phone and wait till they leave! That's what I do every night.

Everyday at school I sit alone, thinking to myself what is it like to have people who care for you?

People who love you, people who would do anything for you. People to stop me from having the thoughts of jumping off of the third floor.

I have a few friends about one true friend the others wouldn't give a Fuck if I died. My only true friend acts like a child, I'd do anything for her.

But only if she knew what I do to myself, what I want to do. I cut already I scratch, cut, bite anything to cause harm to myself!

My family notices but don't do anything about it. They just point and say 'what's that?' Me being the person I am obviously replies: 'none of your concern.'

They just leave it be after that. No one questions why I'm always hiding in my room, why I always carry a rubber around with me, why I am so depressed, why I don't eat, why I don't drink and why I don't sleep.

But this is my life, and I want to end it! I've tried many times, but none of which succeeded.

I've tried many things like: choking myself, starving myself, drowning myself, being dehydrated to the point I can hardly stand, and many other things.

I just wish someone would care and give me a reason to live, a reason to be happy a reason to do the opposite of the things I just said.

But I don't think anyone's there for me. Once I was with one of my 'friends' and we were walking on the third floor of the school and I turned to her and said:

"I want to jump from the third floor, but if I did would you care?" She then looked at me and shrugged. "If you did do that, you'll be missing people who care for you."

I obviously gritted my teeth at her answer but continued walking. In the next class I was sat next to her we were in MFL (language class, mine was french)

But when we arrived in the class she completely ignored me and the conversation we just had on the way there.

We were about half way through the lesson and I had enough. I took but my rubber, pulled down the case on it and took out my hidden razor blade.

I then took the blade and pulled my sleeve up on my other hand and started cutting. My friend then turned to me and spoke: "Why are you doing that next to me? It's gross!"

I put the blade away licked the blood off my cut and spoke to her. "Look, if you suffered from the same things as I do you'd understand! But you don't, so shut the Fuck up unless you actually care!"

The rest of the day went by as normal I sat alone for lunch outside underneath one of the trees. No one bothered me unless it was one of my bullies.

But as I was thinking one of them came over kicked me and  poured his lucozade over me. I didn't really care I just stood up grabbed my bag and went to the bathroom to clean up.

It's normal for me, this is mostly my life every day at school. So people ask me why I'm like I am so depressed so suicidal! They don't know what happens in my fucking life!

I just want to die. End my useless fucking life and face my fate of death, probably suicide.

Whatever happens along the way I will try and upload more chapters to my books and add more videos on my channel. But if everything stops, you know why.

~T.I.Shadow