The conversation with the doctor hadn't exactly gone to plan.
"What do you mean, he'd been having seizures before you brought him here?" She screamed, and he looked a little taken aback.
"I meant what I said. And I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you, I didn't think-"
"Exactly. You didn't think!" She snarled. "Don't you think that I deserved to know? I love him, goddamn it! And if there's something wrong with him, I need to know. I need to. Don't you understand that?"
And she broke. It was a miracle that her legs were still holding her up. When he looked at her, tear tracks were running down her cheeks and her red-rimmed eyes were wide and scared. "I love him."
"I'm sorry." And he turned around and left her alone.
~*~
She was seeing everything from someone else's eyes.
It felt like she wasn't there anymore, that when he died she had died too, and now she was just a spectator in the game of life.
Everything she knew, wiped out. Gone, like dust in the wind, scattered through time and space. She wasn't Jemma Simmons anymore, nor was he Leopold Fitz, they were just specks of dust, dipping and spiralling through the fabric of existence.
He had come so close to the end.
They had talked about dying, what seemed like an eternity ago. And she had reassured him that it wouldn't be so bad, to calm herself as much as anything else. Because she had been scared, more scared than she had ever been before.
That means that every bit of energy inside us, every particle, will go on to be a part of something else. Maybe live as a dragonfish, a microbe, maybe burn in a supernova ten billion years from now.
Too many maybes.
Thousands of thousands of other beautiful things, and they're just as terrified to die as we are.
She was terrified beyond comprehension, and not of her death but of his.
~*~
She hadn't even thought that there were any tears left to cry, but apparently there were.
She stayed in the observation room that night, unable to sleep but perfectly capable of crying, watching him. And the steady beat of the heart monitor seemed too good to be true.
You're a fighter, Fitz. Just keep fighting, because we all need you. I need you.
YOU ARE READING
Begin Again
FanfictionI didn't realise how deeply I had fallen in love with you until I had to do it all again. A Fitzsimmons love story set after the events of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D season one finale.
