Freaks and Geeks - Season Too!!!! (SATIRE!)

S02E02 - Great Expectations (Part 1)

WARNING: Are you ready to read an episode that's nearly twice as long as the one before? Are you ready for almost 6,000 more words of reading than the last time? Because this episode has over 12,200 goddamn words! You are? Well, alright then.

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Riz O'Lourke, a new transfer student to McKinley High, stood at the front office desk, her nagging mother next to her side, and dully listed off the information requested of her. She knew she was in for a long stint of actually feeling okay with her new school based just on the looks she got from the front doors to the office. Idiots stared at her Chelsea haircut with its bleached, orange-dyed bangs and long sides, prudes gasped in shock at the sight of her bra straps slightly showing under her dual black tank top over a white tank top fashion statement, or the slightest show of skin from her torn jeans, and the preppies... god, they were their normal, annoying-ass preppy selves.

The nerve-racking 'clackety-clack-clack' of the typewriter's keys slapping against the paper and slamming back into their original position tore Riz from her thoughts and caused her to blink, hard.

"And the name of your last school?" Nancy Wilde, the school's secretary, asked.

Riz just stared at the woman for a moment, wishing she would keel over dead or have a random, half-chewed dog bone pop out of her nose. Riz was a girl riddled with strange wishes. "Mouthy Moods Intermediate," she finally answered. Throwing a dirty look towards her mother, she added, "It was a good school. I could mouth off all I wanted there."

"Rizzy!" her mother chastised, looking utterly disappointed. "Aren't you going to behave?"

"Mom, didn't you see out there? Everyone's a preppy! You know what I do to preppies!"

Putting on a serious face, Riz's mother laid down the law. "We have been through this before. I know that starting a new school isn't easy..."

Riz looked over her shoulder to a girl who had been giving her a nasty side-eye and burped in her face before returning her gaze to her mother.

"But you promised to give Degra- I mean, William McKinley High a fair shot."

Just then the door to the principal's office opened and Neal could be heard talking as he exited.

"And next time you owe me money, Farber, you pay me back in a timely manner," he said, whipping a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping blood off his knuckles. "Since I had to come down here, personally, you can add another 25% on top of what you already owe. Oh, and let's not do this again, alright? Bad for your ticker." He proceeded to slam the door shut and continued to clean his hands, lightly humming a tune as he did.

"Neal," Mrs. Wilde called out, gaining the boy's attention with her scratchy voice as he passed by her. "This is Riz O'Lourke," she introduced, pointing to the new girl. "She'll be joining your homeroom starting today. Maybe you could walk her to class?"

A huge smile appeared on Neal's face as he checked the new girl out. She had a unique look, one that he had never seen before, but he imagined that if he played it cool, he could get in her pants. Maybe even wear them around. He had some nice legs and had wanted to show them off for a while now.

"Yeah, sure," Neal replied in light of the request, making his way towards Riz. "Neal Schweiber, chairman of the welcoming committee, at your service," he greeted, bowing slightly in front of her.

"Hi, Neat Schweeber."

"It's Neal Schweiber," he corrected, grimacing slightly. "So, homeroom is Mr. Botwinick's class; it's a little far away, but just follow me, m'lady. After homeroom, I can show you around a bit before first period."