The Maestro

Chapter 1 -- The Walk

A lamppost cut through the thick of the night, casting a pool of light on the sidewalk. I quickened my pace until I passed the illuminated area and returned to the inky black darkness. I liked the dark--it gave me a sense of peace. And right now, I desperately needed some kind of peace.

It must have been after midnight, but I didn't care to check the clock when I left my house. The moon was no indication of time, for it had disappeared into nothingness; not even a sliver was visible under the thick layer of clouds that obscured the sky. The steady thump of my feet upon the concrete echoed into the still air, and thankfully no-one was there to hear it except me. I pulled my jacket tighter around my shoulders, and kept walking.

I couldn't let my thoughts consume me. Not again. Not after the last time I had succumbed to them. I knew that if I didn't find some distraction, I would go crazy inside my head. And at all costs I couldn't let that happen again. I didn't want to have to check myself back into the...the hospital, as they called it. I only did that when I knew I was going to lose it.

But you're stronger than before. You won't lose it again.

A large part of me wasn't so sure about that. I knew it was getting bad again. I could tell because I had barely slept, eaten, or managed to stay sane for weeks now.

Another depressive episode. It will go away soon. You'll get better.

I tried to convince myself of that...I really did. As I continued to walk down the sidewalk, my mind drifted. I began to think of things... The things I shouldn't be thinking about anymore.

Get it out of your head!

I snapped back into reality, focusing all my attention on staring at my scuffed converse. An owl hooted in the distance. Owl's hoots always sounded as if they were warning you of impending danger, but there was no danger out on the street that night.

I lived in a picture perfect neighborhood where everyone promptly went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 6am like clockwork. Nothing ever happened here other than the busybody ladies getting into some gossip they heard about at the neighborhood barbecue.

Yet the owl still hooted its warning. I slowed my pace and took time to look around my surroundings as best I could, for a fog was beginning to settle over the ground. In the darkness there was nothing but the shadows of weeping willow trees and the outlines of houses from my neighborhood.

Resuming my walk, I let a heavy sigh escape my lips. I had a feeling I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight; I was so restless. I kept walking, thinking over the problems I was facing. There were too many, and I couldn't begin to dwell too long on any one of them or else I would feel a familiar nagging pain in my chest. It was a particular feeling of hopelessness that seemed to permeate my heart.

I lost track of where I was going, and I didn't see the neighborhood anymore; but I didn't care. I wanted to keep walking until I couldn't walk anymore. I wanted to get away from everything. Every. Single. Thing. I wanted it to go away so I could think without hearing screaming voices in my head telling me just how much they hated me and wanted me to jump off a bridge.

You're not supposed to be thinking those things. You're not supposed to listen to those voices in your head.

But I couldn't take it anymore! How much more did I have to do before they would shut up?

The wind suddenly blew across me, causing me and my thoughts to slow down.

Why was the wind so cold?

I shivered but kept walking. An unease quickly flooded my body, erasing my previous thoughts. I had gotten somewhat lost, and there were now a lot more trees around me.

Wait...where am--

I stumbled, nearly falling forwards.

The sidewalk had abruptly ended.