Latch

Chapter 2- Painted Skies

A/N: There isn't a song for this chapter because I couldn't find one but if you guys can any suggestions to go along with this chapter, leave them in the comments!!

Waking up could be harsh. Especially if you dream of a reality that no longer exists. The saddest part of it is though, your dreams will soon fade- if you are lucky enough to remember it that is. Then the loneliness and detachment sets in, left to explore in the empty void of emotions, the proof you ever had the dream to begin with.

What I've realized throughout this year is that, as you start to disappear within yourself, so do your dreams. My dreams consist of the happy times with Mason. Everything felt right with him. I get so lost within the dream that I believe it's real. It's not just that, it feels real. It feels so real, like the car never crashed in the first place. Mason was still here and everything was okay.

But he isn't and it's not.

I have to remind myself on a daily basis.

Mason is dead and he isn't coming back.

He's dead because of me.

I should've done something, anything to help him.

No. I couldn't. I can't keep thinking like this. It isn't fair. It isn't healthy. But then again...

I could've done something.

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I slipped on a gray workout tee shirt and a pair of black compression shorts. Looking in the mirror, I decided to pull my collarbone length hair into a high ponytail, or at least as high I could get it.

When I finished getting ready, I grabbed my phone, unplugging it from the charger and headed downstairs.

Heading into the kitchen, I search the cabinets, finally finding my steel water bottle. I pulled it out and filled it up with water from the fridge. I debated on wether I should grab something small to eat before leaving but I decided against it and headed  out the front door.

Stepping out of my house, the warm summer air hit my face. I didn't want summer to end and I was dreading school. All the memories of the summers before this one seeped there way into my brain. I love the evenings Mason and I would sit on the curb in the front of our houses. The warm sun would beat down on our skin. I used to love the way small gusts of wind would blow past us, I would shiver before my skin would turn back to the hot and sticky state it was previously in. I missed those days. We would talk about anything and everything, not having a care in the world, we'd give each other advice. Sometimes I'd help him out with understand the girl brain and vise versa. I chuckled at the memory.

As I made my way down the driveway, I glanced at the house across the street. This house wasn't just any house.

It used to be Masons.

It wasn't just Masons. It was his mothers and twin brothers. I haven't seen Mrs, Reed in a while, actually. I haven't seen her since the day of Masons funeral. As for Carson, he acts like I don't exist. Him and me had never been close. Even when I was over the house, he would either ignore me completely or insult me. I didn't understand what he was so angry about. Mason and Carson would fought like cat and dog, some of the fights would get physical. Mason would try and calm Carson's rage but it just got to the point we're Carson would storm out of the house and be gone for days on end. But there was one thing I was sure about, they were undeniably close, more so because of the twin connection they shared.

I passed Mason and Carson's house, my speed picking up. I ran and ran and ran. My feet kissed the land. Months ago, I would've laughed at the idea of me being able to run as far and fast as I can now.

Months ago, I didn't  exactly have any motivation.

My hair and clothes began to stick to my skin, my heart throbbed inside of my chest with each step I took, getting faster and faster. Like I said, months ago I wouldn't have been able to do this. I decided to start running as a way to cope with the accident. I could put all my negative emotions into running- the despair, resentment, fear and guilt.

The guilt was the worst one. I could've done something, anything. If I wasn't so weak, Mase would still be here today. It pestered me, eating away at me. It was almost a year after the accident and I still couldn't sleep without seeing him. Masons laughter still rang in my ears and his charismatic eyes were burned into my brain. Sometimes, I'd have the same dream on repeat. The night of the crash, every detail. I remember every little thing. This past week has been the worst it's ever been and my guess is because the anniversary is right around the corner.

This Thursday will mark the day my life changed forever. The first few weeks after, I let myself slip into this darkness. I couldn't get out...I was just stuck there. I was trapped. I couldn't picture myself in the future. I didn't know where I would be in a year or the next few weeks or days. I didn't know if id survive that long. The scariest part about it was when I started not being able to see myself the next day. I couldn't see myself waking up or getting out of bed or going to school.

Somehow, something made me realize I wanted to be able to see myself in the next year or the next month or the next day. My parents started to see a change in me and of course became concerned. They sent me therapy and I have to admit it did help, but it wasn't just about that. I had to try and better myself. I tried everything- boxing, meditating, writing in a journal but nothing worked until I tried running. At first, I started off slow. I was barely able to run around the block , but I built up my stamina day by day. Everyday got easier and easier and I started to enjoy it. It soon became like a drug to me.

I would run when I became overwhelmed with everything I was feeling. It helped me blow off steam and sort through everything I felt or was thinking.

I came to a halt at the end of the street, bending over and resting my hands on my knees. I removed my drawstring bag from back, set it down on the curb and sat down, breathing heavily.

Pulling the bag open I took my steel water bottle out and took a large swig. Satisfied, I closed the bottle and put it back in my bag. Fumbling around inside my bag, I got ahold of my phone and clicked it on, checking the time.

7:45pm

I sighed and shoved my phone back in my bag, not seeing a reason to keep it out. I didn't realize it had gotten so late.

I looked up at the sky. The lingering light was obliterated by the rapidly falling night. The once crystal clear blue sky transformed to various colors of red, orange and pink. Mixing together like paints. The fiery orb of orange was setting lower and lower into the clouds. The clouds blended together in the sky, turning various shades of pink.

At sunset, the sun sets and allows the moon to rise.

I find it funny how the sun is considered a star yet it goes down at night fall when all the other stars come out.

So why was the sun different?

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What do you guys think?

See you guys next Friday!!😉