Two Steps Behind

Second birthday

"Love, thank you for this bear. I loved it. I love you too." She said to me. 

"I'm glad you liked it." I smiled back at her. 

Bumaba na kami ng truck niya and we got into her flat. We spent the rest of the night, cuddled in each other's arms. We slept peacefully. 

I woke up the next morning, with Devin not beside me. Pupungas-pungas pa ang mga mata ko. I stretched and stared at the ceiling. Then I sat up the bed, hinahanap ko si Devin. I couldn't find her. Tumayo na ako at nag-toothbrush sa bathroom. Nagsuklay din ako ng buhok ko. I went out her room and I found her in the Kitchen, I watched as she effortlessly moved in the kitchen. After a few moments of observing her from afar, hindi ko na natiis at nilapitan ko na siya. I hugged her from behind. 

"Good Morning, Love." I whispered into her ear as I carefully placed a kiss down her shoulder.

"Good Morning to you too love, upo ka muna. Breakfast will be served in a couple of minutes." She smiled.

"Thank you love." I answered her and took a seat at the table which is already set. 

There was a mug of black coffee waiting for me, I took a sip from the mug. 

"Any plans for today love?" I asked her. 

"I got none, love." She said.

"Let's go an a road trip today, look at houses and stuff?" I asked her again.

"Sounds better than sleeping in, sure." She smiled at me. 

After a few minutes, breakfast was served. Habang kumakain kami, naisipan kong magtanong sa kanya.

"Love, what's your dream house like?" I asked her. 

"Uhm, wala naman specifics. I just want a terrace in my room, where you can sit and lounge around, apart from that I think I'd be happy with any house." She smiled at me. 

"I see. Madali ka lang pala gawan ng bahay. One room and then may terrace lang." I giggled at her. 

"Hindi naman, syempre dapat may kitchen, may living room at room ng magiging anak ko or natin. Tas may pool sa backyard." She chuckled at my assumption of things. 

"Akala ko, ayun na yun. Lilinawin mo kasi, love. So you see kids in our future together huh?" I asked her again. 

"Uhm, masama ba? I mean, I see two kids, probably twins. One looks like you and the other one looks like me. I can also see you as a perfect Mother. So, yeah. I want to make a family with you." She said to me. 

"Those are beautiful dreams, my love. Grabe ah? You have things figured out na. Masyadong excited? May lakad ka ba love?" Natatawa kong tukso sa kanya.

"A lesbian can dream. Wala naman akong lakad love." She smiled at me. 

After breakfast, we spent time in her bedroom, she was lying next to me while I was seated in her bed, sketching something from the notebook I have found on her bedside table. I was sketching in the last page of the notebook. When she took a peek at her notebook. 

"What are you doing?" She asked me. 

"Sketching something in your notebook." I smiled at her. 

"Ano namang dinadrawing mo love?" she asked me. 

"Our dream house. Rough sketch lang naman love." I smiled at her. 

"Can I see it?" She says. 

"Wait lang, tapusin ko muna." I smiled at her. 

After a few minutes, I showed her the rough sketch of our dream house. I designed it to be child friendly, soft edges at walang masyadong bakal. It looked like a modern glass house.

"Wow, rough sketch pa lang to ha?" puri ni Devin sa drawing ko.

"Hay, naku love. Sige na maligo ka na, para makapag-road trip na tayo." I smiled at her.

"Ok love. Liligo na po." she said as she placed a kiss on my lips.

"Go na love." sabay tulak ko ng marahan sa kanya.

Tumayo na ito at pumasok na sa banyo niya. After niya maligo, ako naman ang naligo. After we got dressed, we drove down to a New York suburb, we drove around to see the houses. 

"Love, ayan ba gusto mo ba yung ganyang design?" she pointed at a house to my left side. 

"Maganda din yan love, pero gusto ko yung full glass windows, wrapped around the house." I answered her. 

We drove past several houses, pointing at designs we liked. We ate at a nearby restaurant for lunch. After we had lunch, we drove around some more and ended up in a park. We walked around the park. 

"Love, thank you for going on a road trip with me today." I said to her. 

"Wala yun love, I enjoyed the road trip. I promise to make your dream house come to life some day." She told me.

"Talaga lang ha? Naku, titignan natin kung matutupad yan." I smiled at her. 

We walked and sat at a bench, we watched the sunset. There was something beautiful about sunsets, I loved seeing the sunset more than the sunrise, maybe because I'm not a morning person. Spending it with Devin, truly made me appreciate her even more. From time to time, we have down times like this, we would spend the day driving around. Eat lunch at local restaurants or deli. Talk about our future, what we plan on doing after college.

 Ang sarap ng feeling na we are thinking about our future, although before Devin, I used to think of the now and not anything else. It helped me achieve more, when I imagine what our future would be like. With Devin, I learned to look up ahead and be reassured that what ever happens right now is all part of the process to a brighter future. Isa yan sa mga gusto ko kay Devin, she looks at things as part of why she ended up crossing paths with me and the other people around her. 

She had an outlook of a very positive person, pero sa kabila ng pagka-positive ng outlook niya, may times na hindi pa din napipigilan ang pagiging negative thinker nito, yung mga insecurities nya sa buhay, nauunahan siya nito minsan. I would have to remind her from time to time na kumalma siya dahil kayang kaya naman niya. She tends to forget of how unbelievably smart she is sometimes. This makes me fall in love with her even more, because she is strong and vulnerable at times. She writes beautifully too. 

After our walk in the park, we decided to go home and cook dinner in my flat. Bukas Monday nanaman and I'm pretty sure this will be a very long and exhausting week again. But, I look forward to spending the week with Devin and my awesome friends.