The Abandoned Soul

THE CURSED BIRTH

They always ranted that, "things would have been a lot better if I had not been born". These words, for a decade and a half, have been running in my mind and creating a damage that I am today. I've fought battles in order to erase all the memories my current life brings but I am the reflection of my cursed birth. So one thing remains, maybe my death is a relief to all the people whose happiness I am not but a question remains, who will bury me the moment I die?

I was seven when my father disowned me,the year preceding my mother's death, so I had to pack and go live with my uncle, my only hope since my entire family was no more but he and his family. This is the very same uncle who never shared even a spoon with me for he hated my every move, actually he hated my entire family because we were poor while he was of a wealthier background.

I was young and I believed so since seven is such a small number but situations forced me to man up and be strong for my mom was no more, which meant a whole change of plans. I had to wake up before everyone else did to put the fire up and fill the tin with water so that the children(schooling) could find the water ready. While the water was heating I had to milk the cows for breakfast, clean the hut I slept in and proceed to clean the main house. When the water had warmed up, it was my duty to empty it into the washing basins and set everything needed for the proper morning up. This is not all I had to do but I had to wake everyone up, well, it was never a problem since my Mom's final words were, "I was born poor and I die poor, I have forever been a door mat so son I'm sorry that I left you in this state, from today until you are old enough to be independent and succeed, please respect your uncle as if he is me because he is all you will have then. Do whatever he says you do because soon I'll be no more to help you.", also, before he disowned me, my father used to tell me that the latest a man could be up from his bed is when it gets clear, sunlight is a curse for  a man to wake up to.

One morning I could not wake up due to the body aches from the previous day's heavy rains. This came as a result of herding the cattle and one of the orders from uncle Thabile was that his cattle were never to be back into the kraal before dark so I had to wait for darkness.My inability to wake up caused a lot of chaos in the family because the children were late for school and their mother was late for work. Uncle Thabile came to my hut and kicked the door with fury, asking me a bunch of questions without any chance for any kind of reply. I woke up but my body could not carry me so I fell down and could not come up again. My state seemed to raise a worry to aunt Moroe who was already in our midst but due to respect she had for her husband, pretended not to see or even care so they left the hut to fix the damage.

From that day Aunt Moroe came to my hut regularly every afternoon before uncle could come back from the village men's daily meeting to check on me and bring some food and take my dirty laundry in exchange for the clean one. This then brought hope to me that I might get a chance to start schooling and also get access to the better room in the big house but you never know what the future holds for you as they say, never count your chicks before they are hatched.

One day she came to my hut and told me that nothing is for free and, of course, those were unnecessary words from a rich aunt living with a child not of her own, so I pretended not to hear a thing  but she repeated them with yet a louder and a clearer voice so I heard them really well. All I could say was "Good morning auntie" but she couldn't greet me back other than pulling my blankets off and telling me to get up and be ready for school. "School?" I asked with huge surprise with tears slowly drowning down my cheeks, of course, I was very happy to be finally back to school so I really got out of my bed to a prepared space for my going to school. There was warm water ready for me, new school uniform, a barber to style my hair (proof that I was to a private school), a smile from the house workers and my nephews and, clearly, my uncles moody face but all was well.

I took the water and went back into my hut where I got prepared for school and of course went to school where fun I predicted.

As I got back to my room, tears kept rolling from my cheeks as I knelt down and said a very short prayer followed by words to my Mom. "Momma, I knew you would not leave me in this horrible world, Thank you for making aunt Moroe my alive guardian angel. Please save her from any harm of the world. May I enjoy the days of my schooling. Rest in peace Momma, I'll forever make you proud"

I did not realize how long I had been groveling as when I opened my eyes, uncle was standing by the door, looking at me with such evil eyes, full of anger and hatret. I came up and thanked him for letting me go to school and I promised him to pass but he silently closed the door and left the hut.

to be continued...