Ultra Aether

Doubts

Serena walked tentatively next to Ash, who had remained unusually quiet for almost the entire walk. The silence between them was uncomfortably thick.

This is awkward, a voice in her head murmured.

Thanks for stating the obvious, she thought back at it. But Serena didn't want the entire walk to be spent in silence, so she took it upon herself to try and get a conversation started.

"So, Ash," Serena began. "I just wanted to congratulate you on getting into the Semifinals! Your battle was amazing! I know I've probably said that to you so many times already, but I can't emphasize it enough! I'll bet that once we get back to the Pokémon Center, you'll get right back to training for the finals tomorrow! Gladion won't stand a chance!"

Argh! What am I doing?! Serena thought in distress, mentally beating herself up over her rambling.

It was just then Serena realized that Ash had stopped walking. She turned back to see Ash standing a few feet away from her, his head lowered.

"Ash?" Serena asked, concerned.

"What's the point?" he murmured so quietly that Serena barely heard him.

"Huh?" Serena inquired.

"Even if I train, I'm still gonna lose." he said a bit louder, now trembling slightly.

"W-what?!" Serena exclaimed, shocked. "Why would you say that?!"

"It's true! I lost almost every single major League I've participated in. Even in the Kalos League, when I had the Bond Phenomenon on my side, I still lost. The finals is the furthest I've gotten in a League. What's to stop me from failing again?!" Ash gritted his teeth, shaking even more.

He finally looked up, his eyes sparking with anguish. "It's been six years, Serena. Six whole years since I've started in my journey. Six years, six major Leagues, all lost. A-And every single time, I'd pick myself back up, pick my Pokémon back up, and just- just- They tried so hard. They always try so hard. And- and I remind myself and them that there's always next time, and we'll do better next time, but-" His voice cracked in a broken sob and he covered his eyes with his hand.

"I'm supposed to be the confident one. The one who never gives up. But how can I be that when all I've gotten for it is failure?"

Serena was stunned. How long had Ash been carrying this with him, hiding it behind energetic grins and loud confidence? He had said six years. Had he felt this way for six whole years? Had he gone through almost half his life crippled with insecurity and self-loathing?

She swallowed. This wasn't going to do. She wasn't going to let him beat himself up like this. She walked back to Ash and placed a hand on his cheek, lifting his chin so that he could face her. His dark amber eyes shimmered with tears. Serena's breath caught in her throat. She'd never seen his spirit so broken before, except. . .

She laughed bitterly to herself. It's just like after he lost to Wulfric.

"Never give up until the very end," Serena said quietly. "It's what you said to me when we first met, all those years ago. Those words have inspired me during our entire journey together. I've thought of them during my Rhyhorn race with my mother, during my Pokémon Performances, even during the Kalos Crisis. They were the only words in my mind when I tried to bring you back from the forest."

Ash stiffened. "The forest . . ." He murmured.

Serena nodded, smiling. "If I had a snowball, I would've thrown it at you by now." She shook her head. "The point is, don't give up. I know that's what you've probably already been doing, but I mean it. You'll win the League. You're the strongest person I know. If you've managed to defeat all those gym leaders, all those evil organizations, there is no doubt in my mind that you'll become the first Champion of Alola. If I was able to fulfill my dream," Serena wiped away a tear that had leaked out of Ash's eye. "You should be able to as well."

Ash was silent for a long moment, eyes flicking about Serena's face. Part of Serena wanted to flush at being scrutinized so closely, but the rest of her shoved that other part down. Her own feelings didn't matter right now. Right now, one of her best friends in the whole world needed support and the sight of a familiar smiling face, and Serena would be damned if she couldn't give them to him.

Slowly, Ash's stunned face morphed into a grateful smile. Then, without warning, he pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her. "Thanks, Serena," he whispered, squeezing her tight.

Serena smiled and wordlessly hugged him back.

—————

In the bushes nearby, Mallow, Lana, Lillie, and Bonnie were crowded together, peering at Ash and Serena through the leaves.

"Do you think Ash is going to be okay?" Lillie asked worriedly.

Bonnie sighed. "Even I didn't know that he felt that way. When we get back to the Pokémon Center, I'm giving him a hug."

Mallow nodded soberly. "While we obviously can't let him know that we overheard him, as his friends, we can still give him our support." She pumped her fist slightly with a grin. "So tomorrow, we're going all out! We're going to cheer him on so hard he won't be able to lose if he tried!"

The other three girls nearly gave a loud enthusiastic whoop of agreement, before realizing where they were at the moment and slamming their mouths shut.

They gave a quiet enthusiastic whisper of agreement instead.

Edit(2022): *slams shoe into floor*

E M O T I O N A L    D A M A G E

Twelve year old me wanted to write Angst and I didn't want to take it out so I just left it in.

Here, have some slightly OOC Ash.