Us - The Mess // COMPLETED

9 - Be honest with yourself

"Hi Scott! Such a magnifique enter!" Teased Matt his brother in armor. "Well thank you! That was a plan actually!" replied Scott with a blink.

"Kirst baby! I haven't seen you for ages! How is doing our Broadway star?" Asked Scott with the most tender voice.

"If you mean Pascal he is good and if you mean me, I am even better! Couldn't wait to see you golden boy." Kirstin was lost between his huge arms and obviously didn't want to go away any time soon.

I was still smiling, when Scott turned his head towards me. He was looking at me with mixture of sadness and excitement. I blushed. "Hi..."

I wasn't planned that kind of entrance, but I made them laugh, so it was worth it. I was so nervous! I was looking forward to meet everybody again, but mostly to see Mitch. Since he moved out our worlds split to two different dimensions and we barely see each other. Mitch was mostly with Beau and that wasn't a company I will seek after.

I finally saw him. Standing aside with the most beautiful smile I have known for ages. "Hi.."

That was a little awkward. I was holding myself back for a while but then I let go all promises I gave to myself and literally ran to hug him. I lifted him from the ground and spin around. "Lulu! Come on girl! I missed you!"

Mitch finally relaxed and screamed with his familiar tone: "Nooo! Put me down Debb! I hate that!" But of course he was smiling and I can see his old himself for a minute. Oh Mitchy, you have no idea how much I missed that...

OK. That was actually such fun. To hear my old nickname from that Sup3rfruit episode made me feel somehow safe. I can feel warmth raising from my belly, flooding my veins, muscles, heart and mind. If you will cut my veins, I'm sure instead of blood I will be bleeding the honey. I haven't felt like this since... I even don't remember.

The rehearsal went great. We all have an endless energy and we didn't have problems to catch harmonies. Scott was adorable. He was jumping around and taking photos, shooting videos, humming random songs and dancing with his arms up. He was annoying in the best way. I figured out, that I didn't stop smiling since he came.

It was already the end of rehearsal when Scott picked up his phone. "Yeah. We have ended. Don't worry, come up. Can't wait. Love you. Bye." Of course I knew he was talking to Mark or Mason, but still it changed my mood somehow...

Mark came to the room through the glass doors as much elegant as he could. He didn't mean it, he was naturally stunning. He had the reason to be proud as a peacock, but he was exact opposite. Kind, tender and modest. Scott turned around to face him and then I finally saw it on my own eyes.

His legendary heart eyes. Why I didn't know when he was looking like that at me? Why I can see it now, when he is looking at Mark? That glance made me speechless. You can literally recognize tiny hearts in his corneas. I suddenly felt dizzy, weak and confused.

"Mitch?" I felt soft grip on my shoulder. "Kitty?" I mumbled. "Come on, lean on me, let's go." She guided my through the room, nodded at everybody when she was passing by... I bet Scott even didn't realized that we are gone.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - .

Back in LA:

I was sitting in the corner of the couch again. That was obviously my favorite spot last days. It was dark and I didn't want to turn lights on. I have to talk. I have to talk to myself, that's why the darkness was the best surrounding. OK Mitch here we go. You have to try to open your heart and your mind and be honest with yourself. It will be painful but you have to try.

Me: What happened in NYC?

Honest me ("HM"): Nothing...

Me: You are a terrible liar Mitchell. So again - what happened in NYC?

HM: I met Scotty after a long time.

Me: Better. How did u feel?

HM: Weird. Embarrassed. Then better. Then much more better. Then delightful.

Me: Right. That doesn't sound that something happened actually. So why are we having this conversation?

HM: I was laughing so much.

Me: You are laughing quite often. I don't get your point.

HM: It was different. I felt free. I felt more like the small giggly boy. I didn't feel any pressure on my shoulders. I felt like I could fly.

Me: That is something rare for you?

HM: To be honest... Yes... Last months were great. I achieved so many things in my life. I am proud. I was happy to move away from SF house. I was so so so happy with Beau.

Me: Past tense?

HM: God...

Me: Come on!

HM: Don't put a pressure on me!

Me: You are stuck. You are lost. I have to push you a little bit... Sorry... So... How do you feel?

HM: All listed above and much worse.

Me: Worse?

HM: I am jealous sort of...

Me: Jealous? Is Scomarson the problem?

HM: Mark mainly. He is such a nice guy I do like him a lot. But I can't get over Scott's heart eyes.

Me: He was dating several times before and you didn't care that much. You were single, now you have adorable boyfriend, it shouldn't be different for you.

HM: It is different. He always came back to me. We cuddled and stayed overnight watching movies or were patiently silent. I was always his number one. Like he came always back home. He was my home... The problem is, I still think he is my home.

Me: We have a problem.

HM: We have.

Me: After all those months in loving relationship, you are still in love with him.

HM: But I love Beau too.

Me: Grassi!!!

HM: I do! I do love him. But it is not enough... My feelings against Scott isn't love. It is more. He is part of me. I tried to burry this part, to cut it off, but...

Me: You weren't successful.

HM: No.

Me: What will we do?

HM: I don't know.

Me: Yes, you do know. Don't play with me. So one more time - do you know, what will we do?

HM: I know...

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If I am teasing you a lot I am sorry and I promise the next chapter will be here in a few days.

What do you think Mitch should do? What do you think he will do?

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