Losing Control (Destiel)

Dean's Funeral

A/N: Dedicated to Leah. Oh, and PLEASE don't kill me. It gets better, I promise. :)

 They had given it a month. A whole month for Dean to wake up. Gabe had tried getting into his head, but there was something stopping him. A force he had never encountered before.

Sam and Cas slept at the hospital, night after night, taking care of Dean. They took turns trimming his almost out-of-control beard and reading to him. Cas spent every night crying. It as a wonder the angel had any tears left.

A month. The doctor's thought he would wake up. Why isn't he awake? Why isn't my Dean talking to me? Can he even hear me? Is he going to.... Make it? Cas hated the loop of questions that continued to scroll through his brain. He hated that every day he woke up and asked himself if it was the end. Every day. Every single day without fail. Bobby had given his life up for this. And, it was pointless.

Cas was holding Dean's hand when the doctor came in. He didn't even notice that he wasn't alone until the doctor cleared her throat. Cas jumped at the sound.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," the doctor blushed profusely when Cas looked at her. "Was he a good friend?"

"The best anyone could ask for," Cas whispered as he laid his head on Dean's chest.

"I'm new around here, they brought me in specifically to help your friend.... Dean?..... Ad I could use a cup of coffee."

"While you're down there, tell Sam to bring me a cup back," Cas muttered not raising his head. The doctor furrowed her brow and nodded as she walked away.

Cas heard voices in the hallway. He recognized Sam's and the other one seemed distantly familiar.

".... You mean, he isn't gonna wake up? Is that what you're telling me?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I know he's your brother, but you have to let him go."

"How am I gonna tell Cas? This is gonna break his heart."

"Yes, it seems like they were very good friends. I'll leave you to it, then."

With that, the voices stopped. Cas rolled his head into Dean's chest and started crying again. He snaked one arm around Dean's body and just let go. His body rocked with sobs. Sam walkd in and nudged his arm.

"Cas? Hey, we gotta talk."

"He's gone, isn't he?" Cas whispered as he raised his head to look at Sam. "It's over, isn't it?"

Sam nodded as his lower lip began to tremble. Cas gripped the front of Dean's hospital gown in his fists and began rocking back and forth, murmuring alternations of curses and prayers in Enochian. The doctor came back in and offered Cas a small smile before she suggested that they get the funeral arrangements down. Cas looked at Sam and nodded. Sam nodded back in silent agreement of the one thing neither of them could say out loud: Dean would be getting a hunter's funeral.

".....Life support, and then, his body is released to you," The doctor continued explaining, unaware that neither of them were listening. She turned to the corner of the room, where Gabriel was, and asked him to come and join the group. Gabriel had looked asleep, but he was still trying to reach Dean's mind.

"By the way, my name is Dedra," the doctor took a sideways glance at Cas and asked him if he would like to join her for coffee. he held up the cup that Sam had brought him. He had almost forgotten about it. Dedra's face fell and she left the room in a huff. Cas resumed his position by the bed and Gabe went back to trying to crack the code. Sam sat down in the floor and began tapping his hands on his legs. He stood up quickly and punched the wall.

"It isn't fucking fair!"

Gabe jumped up and began comforting Sam. Sam struggled away from him and punched the wall again and again, eventually beating a hole into it. In the commotion, a faint, raspy voice was heard.

"If... You get coffee with that whore, I will never speak to you again."

Everyone stopped and looked at the bed. The corner of Dean's mouth turned up and his eyes half- fluttered open.

"If you die on me, I'm going to have to take her up on that offer," Cas sobbed. Dean reached up and caressed his face.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere."

Sam pressed the call button.