SLAM!
'Balderdash' Burphy stretched across to the driver's side and stepped on the brake of the jeep he was in, much to his trusted lieutenant and driver Chowkilal's chagrin. The tyres lost traction and the jeep felt light as a feather. It over-steered, careened and came to a screeching halt in front of a bunch of motorists who were trying to sneak through a narrow service lane to avoid the legal U-turn that was a Kilometre ahead. Burphy smiled triumphantly at Chowkilal who held onto the steering wheel as though it were dear life. Burphy, admirably, sat through the entire episode unruffled.
"Aren't you ashamed?" Burphy asked as he leapt out of the jeep, landing right in front of the shocked violators.
"You all seem well groomed and educated, but don't care to respect the law. Self-regulation is of paramount importance in a society such as ours. Burphy is always around, but he can't be everywhere to make sure citizens follow the rules twenty-four bar seven," Burphy lectured the crowd.
He then paced the length of the service lane, surveyed the crowd, and found that most were upper middle class, if not affluent, violators. It only meant one thing in Burphy's books. They couldn't be spared at any cost. The law had to be upheld and so, Burphy spoke gravely of lavish fines for several offences that included driving on the wrong lane to preventing an officer from performing his duty. When the crowd finally managed to agree to resolution by mutual consent with a promise to reform and a token fine of atonement payable to Burphy, he relented.
"Did you see me uphold the law, Chowkilal?" he said proudly to Chowkilal, stuffing a wad of currency into his open hands. "You are a paragon of virtue, sir," Chowkilal said, elated at having been given a good share of the spoils.
"We've met our target for the day, Chowkilal," Burphy said and stretched his limbs. "Let's call it a day."
Just as the two prepared to leave, Burphy's cell phone rang. It was a call from the control room.
"Duty beckons," Burphy's face turned solemnly grave, as he pressed his phone against his ear and said, "LEO Burphy."
YOU ARE READING
THUD-ALL : A Balderdash Burphy Story
HumorSara stops responding to phone calls and messages abruptly, sending her parents Dr.Kich and Pramila, and boyfriend Kiran into a state of delirium. Dr. Kich calls the police, who commission Balderdash Burphy - The Greatest Law Enforcement Officer - t...
