"I'm not saying that I have a bad life, but if you were to write a story with me in the lead role, it would certainly be a tragedy."
When I said that there was no way that my life could possibly get any worse, I was kidding. I didn't actually expect...
"Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can."
—Nicholas Sparks
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I bailed on whatever plans Kelly had in mind as soon as we got back to the bookstore. It was lame, I know. I was lame, but I needed some me time. I still hadn't properly processed all that was happening around me. I had so much anger to tap into and not enough time to sort through it before having to deal with my family and as my birthday grew nearer, I was sure that my parents would pop up and ruin it.
Kelly looked disappointed but soon perked up at my promise of having her over for dinner one night. The invitation was as vague as an Ikea instruction manual, but she bought it. "See ya later!" she called as she pulled out of the parking lot, honking her horn when she was almost out.
I waved and literally dragged myself into the bookstore. I didn't want to be anywhere in particular right then, but even so, work was still the last place on any list. Jamie frowned questioningly as I passed him, and I shrugged to say that it was nothing.
Of course, it wasn't nothing, because it was everything. It was every minute that I'd devoted to Brian and it was every tear and every sleepless night I'd endured since our breakup. It was Katie's faux persona and the way that she seemed to have everyone wrapped around her perfectly manicured fingers. It was my mother's insistence that I forgive and forget, and it was my father's acceptance of the catastrophe. It was Jamie's arrival, and Hailey's departure and most importantly, it was Nathan's presence in my life and the happiness that he exuded. It was the way that all those things combined made me want to sleep for a thousand years or climb to the tallest mountaintop and yell until I was hoarse. My life was literally the perfect storm, and I was standing in the middle of it all, feeling like I was slowly going under.
"You okay, sugar?" Connie asked, concern marring her pretty face. I forced a smile and nodded, collecting the first box of twenty to restock the shelves — Not a fun time. "You look a little green. Maybe you should call it a day and let me finish up?" she suggested. The pity in her voice made me sick.
"Tummy ache," I lied. "Just waiting for the painkillers to kick in."
She looked unconvinced but given the nature of our friendship in the way that we didn't have one, she left me alone and I got started on my task.
It was well past nine by the time I'd put away the last of the books and locked up the place. I was so looking forward to being gone for the weekend and sleeping in till noon sounded freaking amazing.
I took a deep breath, appreciating the fresh air and unlocked my car, promising myself that as soon as I got home, I was going to take a two-hour bubble bath and then sleep for the next twelve hours. I was determined to feel at least a little relaxed by morning. I did not want to spend my birthday feeling like absolute crap. No, sir! That was last year's shenanigans and this year I was going to start off right. Sure, I'll probably cry before the day is over, but I'd be dammed if I started the day off being a sad fuck.
