"I'm not saying that I have a bad life, but if you were to write a story with me in the lead role, it would certainly be a tragedy."
When I said that there was no way that my life could possibly get any worse, I was kidding. I didn't actually expect...
"To love again, you must not discard what has happened to you. Take from it the strength you'll need to carry on."
—Simon Van Booy
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If anyone understood what it meant to be tired, it was me. Oh yeah, it was definitely me. I was tired of feeling like crap. Tired of being sad because of the same thing day in and day out. Hell, I'm sure you're tired of hearing me complain about the same guy over and over again as well. Trust me, I'm sick of it, too. "I must've killed someone in a previous life," I muttered, feeling like killing more than just one person in this current one. "There's no way that I deserve to feel this way because of someone else's bad decisions."
"Probably not, but when you care about people, hurting is a piece of the pie, you know?" Nathan said wearily. He sounded tired. Maybe he was. He'd come straight over to my place after work and although he looked like he should've been in bed, the smile that he'd given me had banished all reasonable thought. The selfish part of me wanted him there so that I didn't have to be alone with my misery but a reasonable woman would have let him sleep. I wasn't a reasonable woman— Clearly.
I stood facing the window, my back to him and a frown on my face. "Except that I've been doing a lot more than just hurting."
"Tell me something, Taylor. What kills you more, the fact that he left you or that he's with her?"
I shrugged. "A little bit of both, I suppose. I mean, I've reached the point where him leaving doesn't really hurt anymore. I've more or less made my peace with that." I made swirls with the dust settling on the window, making a mental note to clean it. "But every time that I think about them together, my heart gets heavy because it feels like they've sacrificed my happiness just so that they can have their happily ever after and I'm a firm believer in not building your happiness by trampling on someone else's." I frowned. "Maybe that's why it kills me. Because I know that I would never do that to someone. Not even if I hated that person."
"Not everyone has the same heart as you, though. You need to understand that."
I turned around, releasing a deep sigh. "Trust me, honey, that's a good thing."
He smiled, making his way over to me. He put his arms around me and I buried my face in his chest with a groan. "It gets better," he said softly, smoothing my hair. "I promise you."
"Thank you for being you," I whispered.
"Thank you for accepting me," he whispered back, making me smile.
I squeezed him extra tight for good measure before letting go. I don't know how to explain it, but I had a good feeling about this one. His concern for me was so touching that if I didn't already have those walls up, I'd be falling so hard for him. Man, I'd be halfway to love-struck land by now.
