Can't Make Up My Mind (Nouis & Zouis)

Chapter Two - Unloved

Chapter Two - Unloved

Niall's POV

My heart dropped.

"Yes, Zayn and I are a couple." Louis said, beaming.

I couldn't make sense of his words in my head, Zayn and I.

A Couple.

I tried to talk but I couldn't even form a sentence, how could this even be true? Zayn was straight.

Or so I thought.

I looked up to meet Louis' eye's. He looked happy. Well, he looked beyond happy, like all his dreams had come true. He was well and truly, utterly content. Why couldn't I make him feel like that?

I quickly shot my eyes towards the table as he turned towards me. His mood instantly changed when he saw my reaction to their news. He managed to remain smiling, but I could tell my silence was bothering him. I pulled a hand through my hair, mentally hitting myself for making him sad.

Niall, say something.

I began to open my mouth, but closed it again like a gaping fish. I didn't know how I could ever say anything that wasn't an utter lie.

That's great guys!

Oh my god, congrats!

Thanks for trusting us, I'm happy for you two.

It would all be lies, and how could I ever speak the truth? He'd hate me, they'd hate me.

Louis POV

On the way home, Niall remained silent, having only spoken once - saying a small 'thank you' to the waitress on the way out. Liam and Harry were so interested in mine and Zayn's new relationship. They wanted to know almost everything about the past week, what we had been doing when we went to the bedroom, who came on to who, whether we had had sex. (That being the most awkward question off them all.) I let Zayn answer whilst he sat in my lap and I played with his hair.

Throughout the entirety of the journey, Niall just sat there, the same blank expression on his face.

"Niall, tell your Uncle Liam what is up?! You've been off all night!" Liam finally broke Niall's silent shell, patting him hard on the back and turning to face him. We pulled up outside the house, all off us piling out the car.

"Nothing's up." Niall said, as we reached the doorway and Harry searched for the keys. Niall smiled for the first time in hours, very clearly fake.

"You sure?" Liam said, only to Niall this time as though he didn't want us to hear. He pulled Niall in for a hug, only to be pushed away, rejected.

"It's nothing Liam." Niall said sternly, running straight up the stairs as Harry finally pushed the door open.

"What's up with him?" Zayn questioned, looking worried.

"I'm sure it's nothing babe" I said, smiling at my boyfriend. "Maybe he's just having a bad day."

"Niall's never like this though, I mean I understand if he's in a bad mood, but he didn't say a word, and you two had just trusted him enough along with us to come out. He sat there, not even talking to us. I don't understand." Harry babbled, looking even more dumbfounded than Zayn.

Just then we heard a loud shout from upstairs, followed by the slamming of a door.

I looked around, realising it was only Harry, Zayn and I left downstairs. Liam must have followed Niall upstairs.

Liam hurried down the stairs, his face glistening with tears. "He won't talk to me. He told me to fuck off."

He looked as though he were about to burst out crying. It was unusual for Liam to fight with any one of us, and so he often took it to heart, assuming he was the reason behind the anger or sadness.

I knew better than that, though, and I couldn't help but think it was Zayn and I that had caused Niall's sudden, dreadful mood. He had been his usual bubbly self on the way to Nando's and I don't believe I had noticed anything different before I told everyone about the progression in mine and Zayn's relationship.

But why would that bother him? Was he against Zayn and I being together? I never thought Niall was homophobic.

"I'm going to go and check on him." I said, getting up and brushing my purple chinos off, hoping no one would try to stop me.

Luckily most of the boys were also in quite a bad mood now. Harry and Zayn were both trying to comfort a pissed off Liam, so none of them even replied.

I made my way up the stairs, bracing myself for a good argument.

"Niall, it's me, can I come in?" I said as I got to his door. I stood outside for a second, waiting for a reply. When no sound came from the room, I pushed open the door and sat on the end of his bed, looking up only to see Niall had covered himself with the duvet.

"Who?" Niall's voice came from underneath the covers, he sounded croaky, like he had been crying.

"Me, Louis" I said, climbing over to the other side of the bed.

Niall pulled the covers off of his head, and dragged himself over to beside where I was sitting.

His usually composed and happy face was red and blotchy from crying. His lips weren't even close to a smile.

"Has someone died?" I asked, grabbing around his waist and pulling him over so he was properly sat next to me. He leaned into my chest and let out a big sigh.

"No, Lou, no one has died."

I huffed in relief, at least whatever was bothering him wasn't that bad.

"Then what's wrong Nialler?" I asked softly, tracing the stitching of his red polo with my middle finger, smiling at him hopefully.

He looked up to meet my eyes "I can't tell you." He answered, averting his gaze away once again, all the while nuzzling into my chest and wrapping his arms around me.

That was the first time I ever saw Niall cry, properly. He let his tears out into my chest like something had really hit him, hard. I placed both my arms around him, feeling his warm shaking body against mine.

I tried my best to comfort him, feeling awfully confused by his strange outburst of emotions and the mystery of what exactly had happened to him.

"Lou?" Niall said, sounding almost suffocated.

"Yes?" I replied, pulling a hand though his blonde highlights.

After a long pause he finally whispered "I love you."

I hugged him harder, and smiled as his words hit my ears, "Love you too."

He muttered something inaudible. I made no attempt to ask him to speak up, knowing my efforts would be futile.