Life As I Know It (Completed)

Chapter Eight - Insight

        We turned around a corner and came to a long pier. It was suddenly easier to see again, as there was a lot of light, and these quant looking lamps dotted at intervals across the beach. We headed over to a bench that overlooked the sea and sat down. Drew must have used a different route to get here, one I'd never used before.

         "Wow." I was awed. "I don't think I've ever been here at night. It looks so different. It's amazing." I looked around interestedly. The lights created a serene atmosphere, and the stars were bright and could be seen extremely clearly. The beach just looked... magical at night. 

         "Yeah, I come here all the time at night."

         "Why?" I asked surprised. The place was nice, but completely deserted. We were the only ones around. And despite the lovely atmosphere, I probably would have been scared to come out here in the night by myself.

         "Helps me think and clear my head." He shrugged, not looking at me, and reached into the paper bag and took out a couple of the containers and two plastic forks. "Dig in."

         "Thanks."

               "So what were you going to ask me in the car?" Drew asked, after we'd finished eating. We'd been sitting in comfortable silence for a few minutes, just sipping at our drinks and watching the light beams emitted from the lighthouse further down the shore.

        I lowered my drink and had to think for a few seconds before I could recall what it was that I had wanted to ask him in the first place.

         "Oh." I was silent for a beat as I tried to think of a tactful way of voicing what I'd been wondering about for a while now. "It's just that it's pretty obvious that you don't want your dad to marry my mum. I mean, I had my own reservations, but it seems like you... I don't know... like you're so unhappy with the situation," I told him hesitantly, wondering if he'd snap at me.

         "That wasn't a question," he pointed out, and although the words were teasing, he wouldn't look at me. He stared straight ahead, a frown on his face. 

         "Why don't you want them to get married?" I asked softly.

          He was silent for so long, I was sure he wasn't going to reply. "I guess it all comes down to my mum," he finally said, after taking a deep breath. 

        I looked over at him. The light from the streetlights emphasised the sharp panes of his face, and his dark clothes complimented his complexion amazingly. He looked striking. But the pain he was feeling was clear in his tormented eyes. I scooted closer to him, moving some of the food containers to the side. We had surprisingly finished off most of what he'd bought and it'd all been delicious. I leaned my arm against his in a comforting gesture, and I felt him lean slightly into me in acknowledgment of the support.

         "How did she...?" I asked him in a whisper, trailing off. I didn't think that Mum had ever mentioned it.

         "It was a car accident, almost three years ago." He swallowed loudly, the emotion clear in his voice.

         "I didn't know," I said truthfully, looking out at the sea, feeling like he'd appreciate me not looking at him as he spoke about something so raw. "I'm guessing that's why you're such a careful driver?"

         "Yeah, it took me a while to actually get into a car again." He laughed without any humour in his voice, and something about it just felt so heartbreaking to me. "Dad was a mess for so long afterwards and I guess I kind of withdrew into myself. I stopped hanging around with any of my friends. Loki and Nick are the only ones who actually stuck around and put up with my shit."

         "They seem like great guys," I said softly, still looking out at the beach. I hadn't expected the conversation to take such a serious turn. I felt like crying for him, for the pain I could hear in his voice.

         "I'm lucky to have them," he whispered. "When Dad finally came back to the land of the living last year, he started making me go and see a shrink. That's also around the time he pushed me to apply for college. Fat load of good that's done me.

         "I don't know. It's setting you up for the future. It's not a waste of time to attend," I told him. "Maybe you'd want to have lunch with me and my friends on Monday? Show you that we're not all bad."

         He blinked at me, surprised by the offer. "Maybe," he shrugged. "I guess I should start socialising more. Lord knows it'd make my dad ecstatic."

         "So what was up with you earlier?" I asked, straying back to the topic. He looked genuinely confused and raised an eyebrow at me questioningly. "I don't know. You seemed really bothered by something," I explained, unsure as to how I picked up on this is in the first place. Mum and Jack didn't seem to have noticed.

         "Oh." He looked away from me again, focusing back on the beams of the lighthouse. "Sometimes, it... it bothers me to see my dad with your mum. Seeing the two of them together it's like... he's already moving on and letting go of my mum's memory." He looked so vulnerable saying this that I took his hand in mine and gave it a small squeeze. "I can't help but... resent their relationship, and feel sort of betrayed on my mum's behalf."

         "It's okay to feel like that Drew. You're just being loyal to her. She's your mum and mine isn't trying to replace her," I soothed. I couldn't imagine it. It was obvious Drew was still mourning his mum, he probably always would. But he was dealing with seeing his dad moving on, seeing his dad with another woman when previously he'd only ever seen him with his mum. I couldn't even begin to fathom it. 

         "Thanks," he said after a while.

         "What for?" A small smile played on my lips as I looked at him.

         "Understanding," he said, simply, an answering smile beginning to form on his face.

       "No problem. I'm a very good listener and an excessively compassionate person," I said airily, trying to lighten the mood.

         It worked. He laughed quietly for a second before shaking his head.

         "You are something else, Ellie." He tugged on my hand gently, pulling me to my feet.

         We walked back to the car, talking and laughing, after depositing our rubbish into a nearby bin. It was safe to say that I was getting to know and understand Drew in ways I once would have thought impossible.