Bad Decisions

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The headache hit me before the nausea did. A thrumming pulse vibrating through my skull with every pump of my heart. Instinctively I grabbed my phone, wondering how it's possible to have such a hangover on a full moon, the only time where I was supposed to be more animal than human. When I opened my phone, there were only messages from my bank, notifying me of every transaction I had made. Fucking hell. I groaned and turned over in my bed, the cool sheets giving me some relief from my headache induced fever. Half my fucking savings, gone. No wonder I felt like death itself. Mikaela and I had almost emptied the club of its liquor last night. Just as I tried rolling into a more comfortable position, my stomach lurched. All of last night's wrong decisions came flooding me. My stomach cramped as my eyes struggled to reel themselves in from the room spinning too much. So much alcohol was left in my body. Too much, even by wolf standards.

My feet slapped onto the cold tiles as I dashed for the attached bathroom, making it just in time. Vomit erupted from not only my mouth but my nose. Short black curls fell to a stop next to my mouth as bright yellow colored vomit splashed into the toilet bowl. I heaved, sending up another splash of pungent liquid, burning every part of my throat. I could almost taste every individual alcoholic shot I had taken last night. The last taste on my tongue was regret.

"I would ask if you are pregnant, but we all know you hate the idea so much your body won't even try and secure a baby in there." My mother chuckled from the door. I simply groaned at her and heaved again, sending thousands of Rands worth of alcohol splashing into the bowl once more. Dry heaves started wracking my body. My chest started aching from the motion and my head still spun. What a lovely morning to have, don't you think? "Serves you right, baby girl. You know your wolf hates drinking." She cooed and crouched next to me. Tears flooded my eyes from the constant burning in my throat. The acid taste in my mouth. Loving hands wiped them away. "Lunch is in twenty minutes." She murmured and stood, almost all of her sympathy gone in the blink of an eye.

"Thanks mom." I stammered and reached for the toilet paper. She simply smiled at me and left, leaving me to regret every single decision I made last night. Most of my money had been blown on a stupid night out, all because I couldn't handle my anger. Or my willingness to drown my sorrows in copious amounts of alcohol. My ability of foolishness and recklessness sometimes even surprised me.

Lunch had gone by painfully slow. Mom insisted that we eat outside every Sunday. A family tradition that would otherwise be pleasant, except for today. No other pack members had joined, thanks to my father shooing them away, but the bright sunlight made for an angry headache. Sunglasses weren't permitted, as father wanted to look us all in the eyes when he spoke. He had been a tyrant most of my life, but I never thought him as cruel until now. Maybe I had thought him cruel before then, when he was training me relentlessly to rid me of my weakness, but I only had strength to be unhappy about his cruelty now. In the present. What could my bitterness change about the past? Jasper hadn't joined us today. Father had sent my older brother on some diplomatic meeting I didn't care to remember. Sophie was beside mother, talking endlessly about how good her studies were going. Father insisted that she be well read and mannered for her future mate. My younger sister didn't receive half the training I did.

Stopping my mind from wandering any further, I perked up a bit and dared to ask. "Do you guys know what happened to Mikaela after last night?" Mother looked as if she was physically harmed and averted her gaze to my father. The greying man chewed a few more times before setting down his fork. His grey eyes watched me closely, to evaluate how I would take what he was about to say. Mom always told me I got my father's temper. his lack of control over his emotions. That's why he was the toughest on me. Because he cared, in some way, for my well being. Didn't want my husband to take my lack of control as a sign of disobedience.

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