Innocent

Three

When I get home my mom's car is in the driveway. The school must have called her. She must have watched the video. What will she say? What will I say?

"Keith?" my mother's voice rings from the kitchen the second I open the door. "Can you come in here please? We need to talk."

I imagine digging a hole in the middle of the desert and burying myself in it. Or swimming to the bottom of the ocean and drowning there. Either of those would be better than talking to her about what's happened.

"I want to start by saying I'm not angry with you, sweetie." She folds her hands on the table as I take a seat. "I got a call from your school. The video was taken down. Beyond that there isn't much they can do."

I nod, "I guess. You know now."

"That you're gay? Sweetheart, you're still very young. You don't know anything yet."

My heart sinks further but I don't argue, if she doesn't think I'm gay it can feel like she never found out.

"There is nothing the school can do, but that doesn't mean there isn't anything we can do. We can take this to their parents, maybe even press charges for posting the video without your permission or putting up a fake account to bait you or more extreme-"

"Mom, I don't want to do anything, I want to pretend it never happened and move on. It's out there, it will circulate and it will pass."

"Those kids need to learn their lesson, they need learn how to treat people." she pushes.

"Please, just let this go."

She has a furosity in her eyes I've never seen before. It scares me. A cold fire that burns just beyond her pupils like it's been there all along and this spark ignited the embers.

"Please." I say once more and put my hand on hers.

She blinks and the flames extinguish, she smiles, "Alright. Alright, we will let this go. Karma will make sure those kids get what's coming to them."

I nod uncomfortably and excuse myself to my room where I spend the rest of the day crying.

Ping!

I sit up in bed and glance at my computer. An email? Who emails anymore? My screen lights up as I open my inbox.

bluemcclain17@gmail.com

Subject: I'm sorry

I'm hoping I got the right email address from my sister's school account. I don't go to Garrison High, I've been at school abroad up until the end of break. I've recently learned about some of the things Veronica has done to you. How she used my name and photos to trick you. I want to apologize. I know that won't be enough to make up for the pain she's inflicted on you recently, but still, I'm sorry. You can talk to me if you want too.

-Lance

I shake my head, I can't physically make anymore tears but if I could, they'd be falling. Can't they leave me alone? Don't they think I've had enough? I hit reply and start typing furiously.

kogane1023@gmail.com

Subject: get lost

you guys have had your fun. you have played your games. i have had enough. please leave me alone.

-keith

I crash back into bed and wait for sleep to find me.

The next morning I find another message in my inbox.

bluemcclain17@gmail.com

Subject: Please read

I didn't think before sending my last message, sorry for that too. I've been in Germany since the start of sophomore year and I think that's why my sister saw it as a chance to use my pictures. I don't actually have a twitter but anyway... I am sorry and I hope everything turns out okay.

-Lance

I don't reply. I don't trust that it's him. Why should I? I know it's just those assholes trying to bait me again. Really beating the dead horse apparently.

"Keith? You're going to be late for school!" I hear my mom coming up the stairs and dive back into bed, pulling my knees to my chest.

She pushes the door open, "Sweetheart, are you feeling alright?"

I shake my head, "No, I feel sick."

She puts her hand to my forehead and grimaces, "You don't feel warm, is this about yesterday?"

I pause a moment before nodding, "I don't... I can't. Just for today? I promise I'll go back tomorrow and every day after that but I just-"

"Okay. Just for today. I have to get to work, call me if you need anything and don't leave the house. I love you, Keith."

And with that she strides out. I sit in bed shocked she agreed to leave me home alone, to let me skip. That's not like her. She likes to know where I am and what I'm doing at all times. She probably just feels bad for me. Or maybe work is getting busy. When I hear the door lock behind her I move back to my desk and open my laptop again, reading over the emails Lance has sent me.

kogane1023@gmail.com

Subject: prove it

if this is actually you, the guy i ran into yesterday, prove it somehow.

 For the rest of the day I don't hear anything. I look online every so often to make sure the video is still down and take depression naps to pass the time. I wake up and it's dark outside. Eight pm. Why isn't my mom home yet? I check my phone but haven't received any messages that she would be late. This isn't like her. Ever since yesterday she's been acting strange. I decide to call her.

"Mom? Are you okay?"

She sounds frantic, "Yes, I'm on my way home now, got caught up at the office. I'll be home soon to make dinner. Love you!"

The phone clicks and I drop it on my bed. If something is wrong, she will tell me, we tell each other everything.