Innocent

One

Before freshman year, my mom said high school would be the best years of my life. She said I would meet good people, get good grades, and graduate with good memories and life-long friends. Well, on the drive home from the wilderness camp I spent my winter break at, I can confidently say I will finish my last semester of high school with none of those things.

About a month and a half before winter break, I met a boy online. I had been doing homework when a twitter direct message popped up on my screen. It was from a sophomore who had just transferred to school that year after homeschooling most of his life. His name was Lance, looking through his account, I didn't recognize him from school but that wasn't surprising. I walk around the halls with my head down and spend time after school studying or doing homework. We messaged for a while and soon he told me his deepest secret. A secret he thought we shared. He was gay. He was in the closet, I was the first person he ever told. He was the first person I ever told. We bonded. After a month he had managed to make me feel like no one else had. I could tell him everything and I did. We were going to meet finally. We set our time and place. Near the creak off the trail in the woods at midnight. I knew it was dangerous. Lance and I had only talked on the phone and because of my mom it was in short increments. I guess I felt desperate. I know it was stupid. 

It was five past the hour when I heard someone approaching in the dark. My heart started racing. I quickly smoothed my hair and shoved my hands in my pockets. I realized too late that there were multiple sets of steps approaching. Suddenly flashlights and camera phones were in my face. Five other seniors, my main tormentors since the start of school were laughing and taunting. After beating me to a pulp and saving their videos, they told me if I didn't do their assignments for the rest of the semester the video and all the messages would be put online. I couldn't risk my mother knowing or anymore torment sparking at school. I was so close to the end. I was so close to getting out. I did what they told me and when winter break finally came I fled town for a month. I went to a wilderness camp, it took a lot of convincing but my mom let me go. I needed to get away. I needed to toughen up. I needed to find the strength to make it through one last semester.

Now, here I am, on the bus ride home, about an hour out. I finally have my phone back and the first chance I get, I delete every social media account I own. I don't use them enough anyway. And I can keep up with my long distance friends through text. I miss my real friends. The ones back home in Texas. My mom's job dragged us out of Austin and dropped us in Fredericksburg, Virginia. My dad's not in the picture. He disappeared shortly after I was born. I often wonder if my life would have turned out differently if he hadn't left. Whenever I ask mom about him, she says something vague like "He wouldn't have taken care of you like I have" or "He's gone, forget him." Something bad must have happened between them. I try not to ask.

The Greyhound pulls into the stop and I see my mother sitting at her car with a smile. It's comforting to see her. She really is the only person I can trust.

"Hi, sweetie!" She says with a wide smile and pulls me into a tight hug. "Tell me everything on the way home."