Hateful Love

Chapter Nineteen

His hands just grasp at my skin, and he doesn't go any farther. Frustrated, I break away from the kiss and breathe quietly, "It's okay, Draco." 

I look deep into his eyes, and he whispers with worry in his voice, "Are you sure? I don't have to—“

I interrupt him by kissing him again, and pulling my shirt up to my collarbone at the same time. Draco's hands stay on my back for a moment longer, then he gives in and brings them to the front of my bra. 

Tilting my head back, Draco kisses all the way down my neck, being completely gentle. He looks back up to me, and we kiss one last time before I roll off him.  

I pull my shirt down and lay on my back next to him, both of us breathing heavily. Draco puts his arm gently under my head, and I curl into him.  

We lay there together, in a position that we both know so well, until Draco quietly whispers, "I should go..." 

I squeeze my eyes shut for a second so I won't cry. I blink a few times, then reply almost silently, "I know." 

He sits up after another minute, then stops and looks down at me. Without a word, he brushes my hair to the side, rubbing his thumb against my cheek. Then he gets up reluctantly and reaches down to put his shoes on. 

I get up too, brushing pine needles off my back. I stuff my feet back into my sneakers, not bothering to tie the laces. I look up from my shoes and see Draco watching me a few feet away. My eyes well up with tears as soon as I realize how terrified he looks.  

Draco steps closer to me and wraps his arms around me. I sniffle into his chest, and my voice breaks as I say, "Please, please be careful."  

"I will," Draco says, his voice thick with emotion. He pulls away from me and stares deep into my eyes. "Cassie...you should go to your common room now. I...I want to be alone for a bit." 

I nod, biting my lip to keep from screaming for him to stay with me. I lean closer and kiss him softly on the lips, lingering for as long as I can. "I love you." 

Draco squeezes my shoulders, and doesn't break my gaze. "Cassie, you have no idea how much I love you." I sniffle quietly, and a few tears run down my face. Then Draco whispers, "Go." and pushes me gently away from him.  

I clutch a hand over my mouth to cover a sob as Draco turns away from me, his shoulders shaking. 

I know I have to go, but it takes all my willpower to turn away and get my legs moving. I start back up to the castle slowly, my heart breaking and knowing I've never felt so alone in all my life.

~*~

I'm sitting on my bed as the sun goes down, crying, when Katherine finds me. I look up through my tears, and Katherine rushes towards me. 

"What's wrong?" she asks calmly, sitting beside me and brushing the hair out of my eyes.  

I shake my head wordlessly; I know I can't tell her anything. I'm opening my mouth to make up some excuse when a red light shines through the window, making me stop and sit up straighter. What was that? 

The light hasn't gone away, so I stand up and walk closer to the window. When I finally realize what it is, my heart stops in fear. 

Hagrid's hut is completely smothered in flames. I watch in horror as one of the windows explodes, sending another plume of smoke into the air. My breath catches in my throat as I see there are figures standing by the hut. 

Draco. 

I ignore Katherine's exclamation of, "Cassie, what is going on?" as I whip past her to get to the stairs. I hurtle down the steps, my tears completely forgotten. What if Draco is inside the hut? 

I push a third year out of the exit to the common room in my rush to get out. I hear him yelling insults at my back, but my brain doesn't register what he says. 

After sprinting through so many hallways, I can finally see the exit to the school grounds. Unfortunately, Flitwick is standing right next to the door. I ignore all thoughts of possible punishment and keep running. 

"Miss Jackson, what—“ Flitwick sputters as I dash past him and throw open the huge doors. 

It's so dark out, and all I can see is the raging fire. My robes whip behind me as I run as fast as my legs will allow. I’m close enough to see the figures now, but my stomach dips as I realize they're moving towards the Forbidden Forest.  

My chest heaves with sobs as I cry, "Draco!" It seems my voice is lost to the wind, however, because none of the figures stop. Except one, one person turns to look at me.  

It's Draco. I know instantly, even though only half his face is lit by the glowing fire. He looks at me with so much fear, then mouths, I love you. 

And then he disappears into the forest. I collapse onto the wet grass, crying hysterically. I curl into myself, sobbing uncontrollably and wishing that I could rewind the past to stay forever with Draco beside the lake.