4 Am (#Wattys2019)

Contemplating On Sins

"But do
You know how
The moon reflects the
Light off
The sun?"

"Don't leave me. I want more." Aiden says as I sit on the passenger seat of his car. Both his hands catching my cheeks as mine are knotted with his smooth hair.
Our forehead pressed against each other, as we look into each other's eyes. His eyes seem distant, in my vision they look blur as my eyes can't adjust their focal length in such a close proximity. I look down. Our breaths mingled with each other. The smell of his cologne dazing my senses.

"I don't want to." I reply, a little out of breath. "But I can't help it."

"Yeah right." He say as he abstracts his hands from my cheeks, I instantly crave the warmth of his touch. Unwillingly I too, have to let go. I take my purse and open the door. I step out of his Range Rover. I close the door.
And the blue car speeds off.

I shake my head lightly.

Tired, restrained I turn around and ambulate towards the elevator of my building. My body is aching and my muscles feel sore. Pressing the elevator button, it opens and I enter it and press the button for 4th floor. I see myself in the mirror. The pain between my legs is unbearable.

My lips are plump from the recent encounter in the car, and since categorical spots hurt more than the other regions on my body I conclude there are hickeys all over my body. Tapping my foot the elevator opens and introduces me to the much known floor.

I walk towards the door of my house and knock perpetually, ringing the bell in between.

Isabella opens the door.

I nod and get in the house.

"Are mom and dad home yet?" I ask as I pour water from the jug into the glass. Imbecilic question. They aren't.

"I reckon they aren't going to be home soon. Mom had said before going that it might take some time for them to return." She says as she sits on the couch keeping her legs on the table and switching on the T.V.
The books aren't on the table anymore, packets of chips and chocolates have taken their place.

"Do you want dinner?" She asks as she takes a bite from her chocolate.

"No. I'm not hungry." I reply sitting in juxtaposition of her. I am hungry but I don't feel like eating.

She changes through the channels, her skinny hand alimenting her treats. She has good metabolism, due to which no matter how much she eats, she never gains weight.

"How was your day?" I ask making myself comfortable on the couch, I straighten my face hoping that I don't cringe at the pain.

"Fine I think. So I brought Sudha a doughnut today and she told me that she feels like a spoiled girlfriend." With this she laughs, she's talking about her best friend . "She deals with my mood swings so good. I just can't thank her enough. Although she has no poetic appreciation, I read her my poem-"

"Which one?" I question.

"The one where the moon is his lover-" I designated her to explain more. -"you want me to explain?" I nod. "so it goes like we are comparing the moons phases with the presence of his lover in his life. Like the incipient moon; at first she's not there. And then she's there ever so scarcely there that the presence is negligible yet she's there. Speaking through the curtains of the night. The city life has taken her light. And then gradually she grows in front of his eyes-"

"Is she a child?" I ask curiously as I feel myself getting lost in this inertia.

"No. Of course not," she says, taken aback " She's his lover. Anyway, then suddenly she's whole. But he sees only a part of her. Like a part of the moon is always covered. A component of her was always hidden. The part is covered with flaws and scars. And she fades away as gradually as she came. Until he thinks that she was just a figment of his imagination. And when the sun rises again, he knows she's there even if she can't be seen."