I was trying something new today. I was gonna try and be a dad. It wasn't like I didn't lose mines because of my actions and It didn't fuck me up mentally when I comes to me having a family.
It does something to you no matter how evil or hard your heart is when your own father tells you to your face he wish he would've snipped hisself before you could've been created because you were a disgrace to his name and our family.
That right there cause so many broken relationships within our family. Sani hasn't been back to York since, he doesn't even talk to Nasi, and Nasi just doesn't speak to our parents they are all fucked up because of me. And I swore I would never have a kid because of my own father. I could never have a healthy relationship with my son because my dad fucked me up.
We haven't been the same since I was a kid. I guess he seen it in me. That demon ready to break free and fuck up people's lives and that's what I did. I was here to cause all bad things to this world.
What if I didn't see my uncle kill that guy at his house and just come back into the dinner like nothing happened when I was a kid. What if I didn't find joy in watching people take their dying breath and look up at me like save me before I just finish them off.
I mean my dad he was crazy, batshit crazy. But me I was a whole other level of insane and he seen it and tried to tame it. Sorry pops I'm the Zane of your kids and I won't find someone who is willing to love me because you and mom fucked my head up when it comes to love.
I shook my head staring up at the diner she had me come to. I finally got out my car walking inside I found her in the cut by herself, no Bryce, no cop nothing just her.
I didn't know if she was brave or dumb as fuck.
When she looked up at me she gave me a tight lipped smile. I just kept the same mug on my face.
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"What did you wanna talk about Ghost"she said getting straight to the point. I looked at the table tryna find the right words for her. "I don't got all day my mom is only watching him for two hours so hurry up"she snipped at me.
"Your face healed up well"I shrugged sitting back. "Fuck You you sack of shit"she spat at me. "Alright then now answer me this"I started leaning forward on the table staring into her soul. I watched her shift back some giving us space. "Did your retarded ass put me on his birth certificate"I gritted out.
"Was not suppose to"she asked smirking. I ran my hand down my face restraining myself from slapping the taste out her mouth. "Don't play with me right now"I told her between clenched teeth. "Who's playing bitch boy. Now if you don't want it getting in the hands of the police or better yet TMZ. I'd rethink ever assaulting me and being a dead beat bastard again got me."she said folding her hands on the table.
I reached in my waist band when she held her hand up stopping me.
"Save your bullets babydaddy, cause if anything ever happens to me or Bryce that's yo ass. So here's what I want."she said smirking. I gripped the handle of my nine frowning harder. "You need some paper and a pencil love"she quipped sliding a notepad towards me.
