The Adventures of Cuphead and Mugman!

Episode 9A: The Potion Problem

Cuphead-Let's find out.

(CUPHEAD takes the teacup to drink some of it, but MUGMAN snatches it from him.)

Cuphead-What was that for?!

Mugman-I'm not going to let you take it all without letting me have a share like last time. In fact...

(He dumps it all into his head and smashes the container on the ground.)

Mugman-Now we're even.

Cuphead-I might've wanted that! Which is another way of saying "I wanted that!"

Mugman-Well, too bad. There's none left to be spoken of.

Cuphead-You didn't even consider whether I wanted some.

Mugman-You didn't consider whether I wanted any of that invincibility potion! Now, is that fair?

Cuphead-I did ask, and you said no.

Mugman-I said "Save it for later."

Cuphead-It's now or never with these super potions! What did you want me to do?

Mugman-You. Could. Have. SAVED IT FOR LATER LIKE I ASKED!

Cuphead-There's no need to yell at me!

Mugman-Maybe there is! Since we started on this convoluted journey, you have done nothing but get distracted and do whatever you want and drag me along without asking me first!

Cuphead-Oh, so now I have to ask for your permission to do anything? What are you, the boss of me? No, you're not, and you know why? Because I'M OLDER.

Mugman-Just because you're older doesn't mean you can do whatever the heck you want! Did I mention that you're only older by seven minutes? If you were seven years older than me, then I might have some sort of piety towards you, but you're not. We're twins, you hear me? Tuh. Wins. We're the same age, so we should have the same amount of power in the relationship.

Cuphead-Relationship? So you're my girlfriend now?

Mugman-Ugh! You are so insufferable! I sigh more than an angsty teen because of you!

Cuphead-Sure, you might think I'm insufferable, but that's just how I am. You can't change me, Mugman. No one can.

Mugman-No one except for yourself. Why don't you grow up once in a while, huh?

Cuphead-Grow up? Are you even listening to yourself? Have you forgotten that we're only ten years old? If anything, we need to enjoy our childhood while we still can! Before we become cold and dull and unfeeling like-

Mugman-Like the big, ugly grown-ups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard you give that speech a hundred times. But maybe they have a point. Like you should think before doing anything that could potentially get you in trouble!

Cuphead-I thought you forgave me for that!

Mugman-I was talking about all the other crazy things you've done over the years! Like that time you thought it was a good idea to prank Elder Kettle by rearranging all the furniture in the living room!

Cuphead-You helped me, and to be honest, you thought it was funny, too.

Mugman-It was funny until Elder Kettle got mad at us and you blamed it all on me. I am sick and tired of you doing all of your half-baked shenanigans and me having to take the fall for it! Have you even thought once about what I want? No! Not when you blamed me for rearranging the furniture, not when you drank that invincibility potion, and not now!

Cuphead-You? What about me? Do you not think I feel guilty at all when I mess up? I only let you get involved because you're a nice guy, and you know how to fix things.