Nanbaka OneShots|3

Guards x Reader: OHSHC EASTER

Monday
"Ughhhhh." Mao groaned.

"Shut ahhhp." Tomato groans.

"I can't get them to stay still nya." Mao grumbles, trying to hold a baby chick firmly but gently.

Tomato grunted and struggled to keep his baby chick still.

"Damnit. Lemme put a bow on you, you fuck!" Tomato shouted, reaching for a new mini bow tie.

"...I'd prefer Mori instead of 'fuck' but have it your way." The chick chirped.

Tuesday
"I'm gonna cook you if you don't shut up." Hajime growls, glaring down at the two peeping chicks in a basket.

"Hey Hajime!" Samon shouted from afar.

Hajime looked over and paled.

"Theirs more!?"

"Shut up! You only have to take care of two! I have fucking five!" Samon argued.

The monkey guard struggled to keep the baby chicks in the basket and not let them jump to their doom.

"Freedom!" A baby chick chirped, jumping out of the basket. To the human ears, it was just peeping and chirps. Samon caught him before he hit the ground.

Wednesday
"If we cook these, we gotta include the most important ingredient." Kiji starts, cuddling a few chicks.

"What would that be?" Ruka questioned, cuddling the chicks in his arms.

"Love." Kiji swoons.

Ruka nodded, "Tongue kiss every chick before frying them."

"Ruka what the fuck?"

Thursday
"Kyoya mommy dear, why does everyone keep wanting to cook us?" A chick chirped.

"I await the day when tables turn and we cook humans, daddy." Another chick grumbled.

"I really shouldn't eat meat concidering my diet for the warden but...they would make an excellent meal so..." Kenshirou stood in the corner.

"I went home and got an old barbie dream house I had since I was a kid. The chicks could play in there." Hitoshi ran in, holding a large fake and pink barbie house.

Friday
"I can't anymore!" Momoko cried on her desk.

"Enough weeping mama bird. You have kids to take care of." Mitsuru joked, trying to pull a chick off from biting his ear.

"Why is the girl so emotional Hikaru?" A chick peeped.

"Maybe she's on that period thing girls go on Kaoru." Another chirped.

"You're right! If I get the chance to hold Hajime's children, I must be a great mother!" Momoko stood determined.

"Woah watch it!" Mitsuru shoved her down, "You almost stepped on one of your babies!"

Cue the sulking Momoko.

Saturday
"Ah! Pretty bomber head!" Seitarou picked up the basket of baby chicks.

He stopped and blinked.

"Where did that come from?" Yamato asked.

"I don't know." Seitarou trailed off.

"I want Haruhi!" The baby chick cried, his words coming out at chirps to human ears.

Sunday

"Happy easter!" A little strawberry blonde boy in a purple jacket ran over, holding a pink bunny.

"Honey senpai!" (Y/n) came running after him.

After getting her baby chicks, (Y/n) smiled at them and the sound of their chirps.

She then stopped and looked at the guards. They froze

"Kyoya senpai said you guys talked about cooking them." (Y/n) stared the guards down.

"Tama-chan says you wanted to tongue kiss them too." Honey senpai joins in.

"Hey let's go!" A voice called.

"Okay Haru-chan!" The two smiled happily.

I've been rewatching OHSHC so yeah haha

My favorites Kaoru ♡