An Imperial Affliction

A Bit of History

I'm dying.

There, I said it.

I think that horrid things are prettier out in the open. At least there they are not hidden or unknown. Their reality is not questioned simply because they are not seen and you don't feel like their presence is forever lurking behind you. They are not a shadow of doubt daring to give out optimism that doesn't belong to them.

My mother never had to say anything. I've known it for a long time. Even if it was buried somewhere deep inside of me. But, now I've got it stamped on my forehead, I've got it stamped on papers, I even got it stamped on my mother's face and I have nothing to hide.

I'm dying.

I picked up the words and I threw them. I threw them across the world. I broke them, letting them shatter into a million pieces and with their jagged parts cradled in my arms, I passed them out to everybody. It is no longer a secret and those words don't have anything to hold against me.

Carolyn doesn't talk anymore. She won't even answer Dael's calls. She just sits in her room all day, not even watering her stupid tulips. I go out there sometimes and I do it for her, staring at that little patch of hope that we pretended would make a difference. My flower is coming along quite nicely. It's still small, but it's growing. I wonder what color it will be, the color that was buried into the seed that my mother handed to me, and I prayed that it wasn't yellow.

I shouldn't have to do this. Give life to these flowers. That's Carolyn's job. I looked down at the tulips. Their vibrant colors. Their silky petals. The green stem that fed them what they needed to survive. I feel that I might have stared at them too long because when I snapped out of the trance, I was overcome with rage. Rage for these flowers that mocked my existence. They were healthy and I was not and that fact was enough for me to want to murder them.

So, I did.

In a fit of complete hysterics, I trampled them. I crushed them. I ripped the petals from the bulbs and roots from the earth. But most of all I screamed. I screamed and screamed and screamed. I only stopped when my lungs needed air and I didn't quit until they burned. If my mother heard me, then she didn't seem to care because by the end of it all I was still alone. She pissed me off. It wasn't her right to be angry and sad and depressed. It was mine. So, why did I have to be the one to carry the both of us? Why did I have to come out here and make sure that her tulips didn't die?

I fell to the ground and looked around at the mess that I had made. The garden looked like the scene of a massacre, which I guess it was.

"And now we bring you an emergency broadcast. Several bodies were discovered in the backyard of Bayport City residents, Carolyn and Anna Nolan, at about 5 o'clock this evening. The unfortunate victims were found with multiple fatal injuries, including broken necks and serious internal bleeding. The victims ranged from two weeks to a month old and consisted of all different types of tulips. The detectives are in the process of contacting their families. It is reported that sixteen year old Anna Nolan has been arrested on suspicion of committing this horrendous crime and is being taken away for further interrogation. So far, there is no idea as to what her motive could have been. We plan to keep you posted as to to the developments of this most intriguing case of 'The Tulip Torturer'. Back to you, Tim."

Somehow, I found the whole thing very humorous and sitting in my mother's now vandalized garden I started to laugh until tears came to my eyes. And I can't tell you where in that avalanche of emotion that the tears of laughter ended and the ones of sorrow began.

"Anna?"

I heard the burly yet soft-spoken voice of a man and turned my head to see Dael standing behind me.