12 || Heartbeats Can Become Useless

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㊗️Song- Rose by WHO$ and Naked Bibi ㊗️

Hua Xiao Dan P.O.V.- 

It was my last day visiting my family, so I decided to take the chance and talk to my sister about my problems. 

"Daiyu. I want to talk about something." I sat down on her bed as she was reading a book. 

"What is it?" She set down her book and sat up. 

"It's just. My heart's been having issues." I wrinkled my forehead. 

"Are you feeling unwell? Does your heart hurt? Wait a minute...you aren't the sick kind of sick. Right?" She guessed my emotions right away. 

"Remember when you said, I could make the emperor fall in love with me?" I flopped my back dramatically onto her bed. 

"Oh gods and goddesses. Don't tell me you..." She gasped when I nodded a "Mhm" 

"And if he loves you then you must be falling..." She cried when I did another "Mhm" 

"Agh! I can't help it! He's so..so..argh!" I shook my head in vain. 

"Hey, what did he do to make you fall anyways? You aren't a very easy person to persuade." She narrowed her eyes thinking. 

"He's one seductive man and it bothers me. Who knows how many female hearts he made flutter already." I clicked my tongue in annoyance. 

"Jealousy I see." She giggled and I whacked her with a pillow.

"I am not jealous!" I huffed. 

"Then, do you love him?" She grinned. 

"I..don't know. My feelings are so mixed up right now." I grumbled. 

"How did he seduce you though?" She inquired. 

"Okay, just imagine him taking your wrist like this," I sat up and grabbed her wrist tightly. 

"Then, he'll pin you against the wall." I showed her what I meant. 

"And then what?" She questioned, getting more curious by the second. 

"It's because I chose to love you." I whispered, impersonating Xing Feng the best I could. My sister let out a loud exaggerated gasp in shock. 

"What a bold man. Who could blame him though. He's the emperor." She shrugged as I let her go. 

"That was when he was drunk though. When he got angry once because I left the palace without telling him. It was frightening." I told her. 

"What else happened?" She leaned forward, completely immensed in my stories. 

"I found out who Zheng really is." I bit my lip thinking about Zheng. 

"What? When did you meet Zheng? I'm so confused!" She cried. 

"He's the emperor's step brother Daiyu. I found out when I was asked to take care of him. The worst part is that, he told me he still loved me." I buried my face in my hands. 

"Oh dear. That must be why he left you." She nodded, finally understanding the situation. 

"I don't even know what to do. I don't know why the emperor loves me. I don't know why I love the emperor. I don't-" I rambled on, but got cut off by Daiyu. 

"You! You just admitted you loved the emperor!" She shouted. I blinked and thought about my previous words. I did admit it. Damn it. I love the emperor. 

"That mean you don't love Zheng anymore, right?" She patted my back to snap me out of my thoughts. Zheng, was my old love. He was the first man who could move my emotions, but the emperor was different. He did more than affecting my feelings. He persisted in loving me, even when I could not realize my love for him. He showed me his heart, inside and out. To the people, he was ruthless, a monster, and powerful. To me...he was kind, compassionate, and wonderful. 

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