When I Return || Perrentes

Chapter 27: Patchwork Love

Tony had Jaime drink another two glasses of the rehydration solution until he was happy he was out of the woods, and then he moved him on to water and the sports drinks Rian had bought from the vending machines downstairs.
It wasn't until half past four in the morning that Tony was happy food wouldn't drastically alter the water potential in his gut and let him eat high sugar foods, after which time he finally started to look a relatively normal colour. At five, he let him have the first of the painkillers.

At this point, Jaime was lucid and alive enough to suddenly realise one of the party was missing, and asked where Sammy was.

It wasn't until ten past five that the group felt happy enough that Jaime was not about to die to depart to their rooms. Frank, Kellin and Patty went to leave together, and on the way out Patty stopped to give him the gentlest of hugs. He said nothing, but didn't need to. His eyes said everything he needed to articulate.

Jaime had finally settled under the sheets without a fever, so Rian and Cassadee decided not to move him - Mike went downstairs to reception to arrange another room for him and Tony to share; but even when that was sorted, they were reluctant to leave, and stayed around in Rian and Cassadee's room. Vic had already curled up on the bed beside Jaime and was finally sleeping peacefully, days of unrest and anxiety melting away. His head was on Jaime's shoulder and they held hands in their sleep, and the ring was sparkling under the gentle hotel lighting.

Tony and Mike sat together in embrace on the next bed whilst Rian and Cassadee stayed on the sofa, relatively quiet but conversing in small spurts every so often. Soon enough, Tony slunk away to the bathroom, where it was cool and clean and the lights were brighter, and he sat on the edge of the bath, needing to be alone for a little while. Now that the panic of Jaime was out of the way, there was nothing to distract him, and he allowed the wave to overturn him in the water and make his chest feel heavy.

He realised he lacked the energy to hold up his own body weight and slid down against the side of the bath, leaning against it and staring into space. He didn't want to think.

After about fifteen minutes he started to feel he didn't want to be alone anymore, but he lacked the energy and motivation to move and instead stared at the floor. It was black tiled and polished and cold against his skin, but was not a very good grounding device. Sammy had been good at grounding him. Tony could dangle his hand in the back of car and Sammy would lick it and he could pet Sammy's head and thread his fingers through his fur and Sammy would wag his tail and hang his jaws open in joy.

Tony didn't know how, but Mike seemed to sense it. After a while, the door creaked slightly as it opened and Mike poked his head around, stepping in slowly. "Fancy some company?"

Tony exhaled slowly and made no response - simply held out his arms, in desperate need of a cuddle, and Mike sank down so he straddled Tony's hips and delivered, wrapping his arms around him, and Tony leant his head on Mike's shoulder and they were motionless for a long time. "How are you?" Mike whispered at last, and Tony closed his eyes.

"I'm just so...confused. I don't know how to..." simply speaking a few words started him off again, and his throat tightened and his eyes spilled tears again. "Sorry. Every damn time it gets brought up..."

"No, it's okay," Mike assured him, pulling back so he could look him in the eye. Those wells of hazel Tony knew so well, and which may or may not save him.

"I don't know how to live without him," Tony sobbed softly, trying not to disturb the others in the room. "I mean that totally literally, I learned how to live alone in Veil with Sammy. And it's like this massive...huge, important chunk has been absolutely ripped out of me, and out of home. God, I know..." he trailed off, laughing bitterly as he looked up and used a shaking hand to wipe away his tears. "I know he was just a dog, and this is ridiculous."