When I Return || Perrentes

Chapter 18: How You Love Me Now

Tony dreamed that he was swimming in a river. At first, he was content and calm - he could feel the bottom of the river with his feet. Now and then, a fish brushed past his legs as it wriggled on its way. The river was narrow and the banks were low.

But then, the river widened and Tony struggled to feel the bottom anymore. He found he was starting to sink and treaded water to keep his head above it, and looked around as the banks had become steep and too far away for him to swim to. He took a deep breath in and ducked beneath the water, and it was dark as far as he could see below him, the bottom nowhere in sight.

The current picked up and swept him along, and now he was struggling. With each passing minute he got weaker, the current got stronger, and he thrashed against it as it began turning him over and over and once or twice he slipped beneath the waves and water got into his lungs, and when he broke the surface he coughed and spluttered before he was forced under again, and then he couldn't get back up the surface, and he clawed at the water, trying to drag himself up but always too far away, his lungs screaming for air as oxygen bubbles surrounded his face -

He woke up in a cold sweat, inhaling deeply as though he'd been drowning in the bedsheets, lungs aching, throat tight. In fact, he kicked the sheets away from him to try and free his limbs and woke up Sammy, who sat up immediately and padded over, anxious, to bury his head in his chest and wag his tail. Tony gripped him tightly and threaded his fingers through his fur, stroked up his ears and cuddled him in as if he was a puppy. Sammy did not protest.

Tony swung his legs out of bed and, fully awake, left the bedroom and ventured down the hall. He had hoped that maybe Rian would be awake again, but the living room was empty and the TV was off. The apartment was silent - everyone slept soundly, and Tony turned around and went back to bed.

Disturbed by the movement, Mike huffed and hummed and turned over, half awake. "You okay?" He mumbled sleepily, and Tony shuffled close to him, and Sammy lay down between their legs.

"Just went to the bathroom," he lied. "Go back to sleep."

Barely half conscious, Mike dropped off again in seconds. It was four am. Tony didn't go back to sleep. For fear of drowning, of course.

* * * * *

Cassadee went out at around eleven to go into the studio. She had her guitar in its case and left the house humming, already warming up her voice.

It left Rian to his own devices, and Tony thought he looked a little lost as he wandered around the house, out of energy. Perhaps, Tony thought, this endeavour was worrying him as much as it was worrying the rest of them - he didn't look like he had slept awfully well, and was maintaining those dark circles under his eyes. Deciding a helping hand would be much welcome, Tony set down the book he was reading (Call Me By Your Name) and followed Rian into the kitchen.

He was leaning over the sink as it filled up with soapy water, stacking up the pots, pans, plates, cups and utensils beside it, ready to be washed. "Need a hand?" Tony offered, and Rian almost jumped, lost in his own little world, having not heard him come in.

"Oh. Um...well, I've only got the washing up to do, so -"

"Well, how about you wash, I'll dry?"

Rian hesitated, but then nodded and smiled. "Okay. Sure. See, the thing is, there's so many in the house now there isn't enough room in the dishwasher for everything to go in."

"I go through the same thing whenever I have friends round at my house," Tony agreed as Rian turned off the water and reached for the first plate. Tony found a dishcloth and stood at Rian's right, ready to dry. "I don't do it often but sometimes I find there's been a dozen people round my house and the washing up doesn't bear thinking about."