When I Return || Perrentes

Chapter 4: Tight Corners

Tony felt it sometimes. Not all the time, but occasionally, if he was talking to someone and the other person was closer to the centre of the room and Tony was standing by the coat rack; or if he was in the utility room taking the laundry out of the dryer and he stepped towards the corner of the room to set the basket down on the floor; or if he was at work and running round the laboratory equipment unit for experiment apparatus and found himself at the back right of the room, lodged between the final shelf and the back wall, he felt it. A crushing - a slowing of time, where suddenly all motion ceased to occur, where every ounce of energy in his muscles was instantly drained and he felt himself become a corpse, still, already locked in his coffin and stifled beneath the earth. When he was backed up in a corner and up against a wall, he felt it.

That was how he was going to die. Backed into a corner.

Sometimes the sensation would pass on its own, and slowly the mud would lift and he would be dragged back to the surface, emerge slowly from the trance and be met with reality as it rushed back into normal speed. Sometimes it would take someone to actively drag him - more often than not, Sammy's wet nose nudging against his palm would ground him.

It didn't happen often. Although it had been bad when he first came to Veil Hill, it had diminished over the years - and then the night before leaving, when he went to bathroom, he caught his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands, saw the door shut behind him, clocked the wall to his right, and it suddenly overcame him once more. The squeezing of his head. He felt his breathing and his heart stopping, and he felt himself die right there and then, felt himself sag, slump, a corpse, a skeleton already, somewhere else, on his deathbed, in his grave.

There he stood for some time - by the time he started to wake up again, he wasn't sure how much time had passed, so he waited to feel the break of the surface again before testing his limbs; twitching his fingers, then clenching and un-clenching his fist, then rolling his shoulder. He blinked hard, exhaled, and then went back to bed, a living, breathing person. When he lay down he shuffled very close to Mike indeed, who mumbled softly in his sleep.

Tony was okay under the covers. He was even okay in most corners, the majority of the time, but he knew. Sometimes he knew, trapped in a crevice.

He was going to die backed into a corner.

* * * * *

They all met at the gate at quarter to eight in the morning.

Gathered at the open metal fencing was a small crowd of people, and their heads turned to watch as Mike rolled the car up onto the road that led out of the valley and into the real world, outside the peaceful tranquility of this place they called home. As Tony popped open the car door, he quickly took in all of the faces - of course, Vic, Jaime and Frank stood together, conversing sporadically, and Patty stood with Dottie at the outskirts of the group. She was subdued and silent, leaning on his shoulder, one thumb moving slowly over his skin, and Patty had his arm around her shoulders.

The Mayor stood with the Chief of Police behind her, overseeing the farewell, but was seemingly the only councillor (other than Jaime) present. Instead of more governing officials, a silver car had pulled up behind Patty's, and before Tony even saw the person he recognised it as Jason's car.

Jason himself appeared from the public toilets situated near the gates, and he walked quickly to join Will Gould, near the left of the Mayor, and despite looking as if a small animal was being slaughtered before him he managed a smile at Tony when they made eye contact.