When I Return || Perrentes

Chapter 26: A Matter of Life (and no Acceptable Alternatives)

Tony felt his entire body go cold. His limbs were flooded with screen-wash. His blood ran dry. His heart shrivelled, encased in a box of ice.

"Sammy..." he murmured, and it took a moment for the wave to hit him.

When it did the ice around his heart shattered and his breathing turned ragged and he was suddenly spurred into action, and he ran to Sammy's side, kneeling beside him, jaw dropped, staring, not knowing what to do. Sammy's eyes were still open and moving, and he was still breathing, but the floor beneath him had turned crimson and the fur on his chest was matted. "No..." he whispered, shaking his head, all coherent thought ceasing as he placed a hand on Sammy's chest. When he pulled it away, it was bloodied. "No, no, no..."

Sammy cried softly, but did not move, and Tony could do nothing but burst into tears. He couldn't fix this. There was a bullet in Sammy's chest, and he couldn't fix this, and he sobbed, tears falling onto the concrete and mixing with blood. "Oh, Sammy..." he cried. "What have you done, you silly thing?"

He knew. He couldn't save him. He knew it in a moment, that they would never get Sammy to a vet in time - that none of them knew how to help him. Sammy could only look at Tony and whine softly in pain, his eyes impossibly sad and dark and wet, and Tony shook his head. "I'm sorry, boy..." he apologised profusely, and all he could think to do was wriggle closer and thread his fingers into Sammy's thick fur on his neck. "Oh God, I'm sorry. You're a good boy, Sammy. You did amazing, didn't you? You're a good boy..."

Sammy opened his jaws once to yelp quietly in pain, and it made Tony cry harder. In a fraction of a second he thought of every moment of his life - when they clapped eyes in the shelter and Tony had thought of Scamper, and Sammy had stood with his paws splayed and his little tail wagging and his ears pricked, and he got so excited when Tony put a finger through the bars to stroke him that his entire body rippled as his tail wagged rapidly, paws skidding on the floor and sending him sprawling. He remembered the point at which he found it too difficult to pick him up - he grew up so quickly, and Tony would have to crouch down to hug him when he got home from work instead of pick him up. He'd play dead with him; roll onto his side and lie motionless, let Sammy sniff his face and then come to life and Sammy would be thrilled and bound over his body, jaws hanging open in joy. He would take Sammy for walks in the dog park and he would steal other dogs' balls and Tony would have to prise it out of his mouth and apologetically return it to the owner, trying not to laugh. He would stay home on his days off and wallow in his own pity and reminisce over days long past and love long lost and sit on the floor and cry, and Sammy would sit with him whilst he did and lean on his chest and Tony would hug him close and say, at least you and me won't ever be apart, Sammy. We'll be friends forever.

He thought of the toys Sammy liked and it broke his heart to know that whilst Sammy was lying here dying he was probably missing his slightly gross, chewed, dirtied, floppy pink rabbit, and might like it tucked under his paw, and Tony could only cry harder and hang his head. "We were supposed to have so many adventures," he whispered to Sammy. "I'm so sorry."

Outside, he could hear movement - running footsteps, loud voices. "Tony?" Someone called frantically, but Tony didn't reply. He waited instead, and eventually the door swung open and Mike burst in. "Tony, are you..."

He didn't get to say 'hurt.' He froze in the doorway and Tony could only look up slowly at Mike, who looked blurred through tears, and then look back down at Sammy, who appeared to be growing weaker by the minute. A few times, his paws twitched, but he didn't try to get up or make any other movement. "Oh no..."

There were more footsteps coming running as Mike crossed the floor, slow and awkward, and knelt by Tony's side, reached out a hand to touch Sammy's chest, balked at the red that came away on his hands. The footsteps belonged, Tony saw as they arrived in the doorway, to Vic and Frank, who came running and then immediately slowed, and Vic's only reaction was to gasp softly and cover his mouth with his hands as Frank slackened.