Hope Begins to Fade

City of Evil

The one and only time in my life that I'd stepped outside of my comfort zone before boarding a flight to the U.S to begin my career as a pirate – I may as well go all out with the life changing plans- was the night I'd confessed my undying love to Ryan. I was sixteen and Ryan was twenty-three and back home visiting. Of course our parents had felt it necessary to have a barbeque to celebrate Ryan's visit. Brianna's family was there and her older sisters had stocked up on sugary bottled pre-mix alcoholic drinks. I'd secretly taken a couple and hidden them in the bushes on the edge of the garden where the lights from the house didn't quite reach and the lawn turned into sand dunes. I sat on the grass in the darkness listening to Brianna and her sisters on the beach with some boys from school they'd met up with earlier. The alcohol was churning in my stomach and I was regretting my decision to see what all the fuss about drinking was. "Hey," Ryan had dropped down beside me and bumped my shoulder with his, "Are you okay there Chips?" Ryan always had terrible nickname for everyone and because my initials were CC he called me Chips because of the corn chips brand CC's. "You don't look so good." I may not have looked so great but he sure did. I admired his tattooed arms and thought 'why not?' and just let loose with my confession. I tipped over on my side into his lap and looked up adoringly at him.

"I love you Ryan, I've always loved you and I always will." I'd just blurted it out. There wasn't even any time for him to respond though because my stomach had violently protested at the way its contents had been sloshed around with my sudden change of angle. "Oh god!" I'd flipped over onto my knees and crawled over to the edge of the sand dune and, in what was one of the most humiliating moments of my life to that point, had vomited into the bushes in front of the man I'd just confessed my undying love to.

Ryan had held my hair back, rubbed my back and said, "There, there Caitie. Let it all out. Trust me you'll feel better." When I finally stopped retching he'd led me into the house and tucked me into bed in Steph's old bedroom. He'd kissed my forehead and said, "About what you said earlier, I want to say thank you. I appreciate it but Chips you know I'm too old for you right? And my lifestyle? Me on the road living to play music every night? You know that's not right for you, right?"

I'd swallowed past the lump in my throat and nodded weakly. Ryan was trying to let me down gently.

"Mark my words Chips one of these days you're going to meet the perfect guy for you and my guess is he isn't going to be a tatted up musician." Ryan had then smoothed my hair back, popped another kiss on my forehead and left the room. As I'd cried myself to sleep I'd decided that Ryan was right, my days of crushing on tattooed musician bad boys were over. I was going to find a good boy and he was going to be the one.

That was exactly what I'd done and for a while it seemed like Ryan had been right. Then just over two years ago Ryan had been killed in a bar fight, bad boy until the end, and I'd cried in secret for days. A year later my own world fell to pieces and it felt like I hadn't stopped crying since. Finally my parents had staged what they described as an intervention and pressed an airline ticket and job offer into my hand.

So here I was, in the U.S., in the back seat of a car getting the full Aaron McInerney road rage experience as we made our way down to Huntington Beach where I was going to start my career on the high seas.

"How are you honey?" Mel turned in her seat to look at me sympathy in her eyes. Oh no, I was not going there.

"I'm tired. It was a long flight." I rummaged through my bag again in an attempt at avoiding eye contact.

"I can imagine, I'm glad we made the trip this time on the boat. It may have taken longer but it was far more enjoyable. But what I was really asking was..." I knew what she was really asking and I felt my heart stop in my chest because I really didn't want to discuss it.

"Mel," Aaron interrupted her before she could finish. Even I couldn't miss the note of warning in his voice. "So Caitlin, how are your parents?" he continued.

"They're really good. They said to say hi and that they may even fly out to meet us somewhere." I had no idea where that would happen. In fact I had no idea where we were even going to be sailing to. All I knew was that I was going to be cooking, generally helping out and doing my best to not fall overboard. I was struggling to keep my eyes open but I couldn't miss the look that Mel and Aaron exchanged. My curiosity was piqued but when I opened my mouth to question them a yawn ripped through me.

"Sounds like good idea, it's been a while since we caught up," Aaron said as he wove in out of traffic. Mel was right, he drove like Lewis Hamilton. I was too tired to care. Anyway what were the chances of lightning striking twice? I leaned my head back on the seat and closed my stinging eyes.

"Caitlin," Mel's voice was soft in my ear. I jolted awake and blinked at my surroundings. We were in parking garage. "You have a little something..." she pointed at my face and grimaced. I quickly wiped the drool from my chin and looked around with interest. Aaron was dragging my suitcase toward the lift lobby. "Where are we? Is this where the boat is moored?"

Mel laughed. "No sweetie we're house sitting for a few weeks."

"Oh," I answered blankly and scrambled out of the car grabbing up my bag and back pack as I went. Housesitting? That made no sense. My parents had practically forced me onto my flight saying that Aaron and Mel were ready to set sail and they couldn't wait for me much longer. I was starting to get the feeling that there was a conspiracy against me.

"Ready?" Mel asked and when I nodded she set off in Aaron's direction. I trotted after her as fast as my sleep deprived legs could carry me.

"Wow. Who does this place belong to?" I asked as I followed Mel and Aaron into what I'd been informed was a condo. As far as I was concerned it was a unit. A very, very nice one I might add. I crossed over to the window where there was a gorgeous view of the ocean.

"It belongs to Steph's boyfriend Brian. His band is out on tour at the moment and Steph went with him," Mel said as Aaron wheeled my suitcase down the hall into what I assumed was the bedroom I'd be sleeping in. "When they get back they're going to move into the place that Steph inherited from Ryan."

"He must do okay for himself." I glanced around. It was pretty stark, only the essentials when it came to furniture and décor but it had clearly been done by an interior designer and what there was screamed money. "Why are they not going to stay here?"

"Brian's band is very successful. They're moving because Steph's building will allow dogs and this one won't." Mel gently pushed me toward the sofa. I sank down into its ridiculously comfortable depths. I wondered idly if Steph had hooked up with Brian for the sake of his sofa. Steph had never really been the Netflix and Chill type but maybe she'd changed. I was definitely the Netflix type, without the chill obviously.

"Steph got a dog?" I asked as Mel busied herself in the kitchen of the open plan space.

"No, Brian has a dog but as she lived with his ex-wife when they first split he forgot to check that this place was dog friendly when he first bought it." Aaron said as he sat down beside me. Well that made sense, sort of.

"How did they meet?" I asked as I gratefully accepted a cup of tea from Mel. I may have been in the land where coffee was king but tea would always reign supreme for me. It should have been coffee drinking Kelly here in the USA with Steph and her rock star boyfriend and me over there in England. Minus the mountain climbing boyfriend of course.

"Brian and the rest of the guys in his band were friends with Ryan. Steph met him years ago and they reconnected when she came over here a few months back," Aaron inhaled the aroma of his coffee with a satisfied sigh.

"Here," Mel held her phone out to me, "this is a picture of them from just before they went away." I took the phone and glanced at the screen. There was a picture of Steph looking more gorgeous than any human had a right to look and a guy that was just as gorgeous. He also looked shockingly familiar. I swiped my finger across the screen to look at the next photo and there standing in front of a mini-van in the early morning light was Steph, Brian and four other guys.

I swallowed hard. What were the chances that Steph was out on tour with Avenged Sevenfold the frequent stars of my very secret Pinterest board featuring bad boys and musicians? Pretty good based on the photographic evidence. Thank god I was running away to be a pirate. I knew the condo wasn't dog friendly but wondered if they'd allow birds. I was going to need a parrot.