The Truth About Love (Stan x Kyle)

The End of an Era

Ignoring Kyle's orders, as usual, Wendy half air jumped, half flew up to Cartman's dragon where she sliced its head straight off with her sword, seemingly with the sheer force of her own will. A slashing goddess of the battle field. 

Cartman's whiny voice could be heard across the battle field yelling, "Screw you hoe!" as he lunged at her from the mammoth corpse at his feet.

Tweek and Craig were a blizzard of blurring blades slicing through their opponents like a knife through butter, and not like butter that's hard to cut through, really soft butter that bares no resistance. At one point, Tweek kissed Craig's cheek and about one hundred people fainted from the feels. Then, the formidable duo continued their annihilation of the human ranks.

Cartman struck Wendy down, seemingly by throwing a tampon at her. Kyle immediately jumped into her place. The two magicians shot magic fiercely at each other, like some intense tennis match, except lives were at stake. Kyle had the upper hand, however, seeing as his magic held the strength of two people rather than one. This duel power represented the concept of sharing, an idea Cartman never quite seemed to grasp.

Kyle threw blistering tornados, piercing arrows, furious fire and striking bolts of lightning at the over-weight child. He was struggling to stay on both feet. However, that didn't mean he couldn't hold his own. He meant Kyle's fire with fire. His lightning with lightning. He farted so hard it literally went on fire and the stench almost knocked Kyle out.

There was a reverberating shake as the second dragon hit the ground. Stan jumped into battle next to Kyle, forever loyal. Cartman had to bash him off, while dealing with Kyle's already enhanced magical abilities. Sparky savagely dug his teeth into Cartman's leg. Stan threw his stone frisbee at Cartman's face, which made the interesting sound of stone hitting flesh. Like a furious storm Stan stabbed and slashed at Cartman's clothes and flesh. His layers of fat, however, seemed to shield him from the majority of harm. Although, his obese panting breaths were audible and his hat had half fallen off his head.

The last dragon hit the ground. The earth shook with a resounding rumble. Princess Kenny pranced gracefully into the mix. A sparkling rainbow hit Cartman in the face, along with a look of betrayal. Rats swarmed and covered his body. A majestic unicorn smashed into him. An arrow hit deep into his leg, then his arm, then his heart. He finally fell to the ground.

Butters ran over to him and tried to heal him. "Butters! Get the fuck off me!" he yelled, pulling out the arrow that had pierced his heart and healing the wound himself. The fact that he hadn't died made many wonder if he truly didn't have one.

"But Eric I-" stuttered the blonde, sounding hurt.

"Get, the fuck, off!" he shouted again, shoving Butters violently off him.

An enraged expression spread over the usually peaceful boy's face. "Okay, you know what Eric? Fine, have it your fucking way!" Both armies seemed to freeze in shock, hearing the usually pure, adorable little man loss his shit. "I, am completely fucking sick of your bullshit Eric! Who else is with me!" The humans looked around each other. There were a couple nodding heads, but most, however, stayed silent and still. "Oh, come on! Are you all going to be a bunch of pussies? How long have we been pushed around by this guy? I, for one, am fucking sick of it! First off, he murdered our King and then there was that genocide and when any of us questioned him he responded with manipulative bullshit! The same stuff he used after Kyle's parent's and brother's death, or that time he locked up Tweek and Craig," he paused, "I am sorry I helped with that by the way, that wasn't very nice," he continued, "Or when he threatened our very own Princess! Who isn't even our Princess anymore! And he expects us to fight a war? A war that none of us wanted to fight! No way people. I, have had enough." The humans looked at Butters for a minute and nodded, a few them started cheering, and then they were all cheering. Louder and more joyous than a chorus of birds in the early morning or a pack of wolves at night.

"Butters," said Cartman nervously, "let's not get too carried away here. Come on, you guys, we need to defeat the filthy elves!" The humans just glared at him; his usual rhetoric was clearly not having the desire effect. "What about my policies? You've all loved my policies!" The humans stayed silent. "Hey, am I your ruler and your King. Now, you will all get back to fighting and respect my authoritah!" None of them moved even a single muscle. "What the fuck you guys! You need to listen to me! I'm the fucking King!"

"Not anymore. We, are going to become a democracy." Butters decided, seemingly on the spot.

"Butters, you don't even know what that words means. I'm pretty sure you just made it up."

"No, some of the ancient societies were, I think. What I do know is it means everyone decides who our leader is! And that sure as hell won't be you!" The humans yelled a resounding 'Yes!' from all around him. The elves were all supporting shit eating grins, while Cartman looked more furious than an exploding volcano.

Xxx

Hey guys~ fricken short and penultimate chapter! I can't believe this story is almost over! That's crazy! Thanks for all the support, you guys are the best. Make sure to have an awesome day!