~I have a lot of feelings about this song and them~
It was a new relationship, which of course ensues it's fragile, and there was still lots of healing to be attained for both the individuals, but things were moving rather fast. Neither mentioned it though, because even in their scarred minds it felt right. Occasionally a doubt would be granted only to be cremated when the other walked in the room. So even though it had been only three months, Marcus and Carey felt like they were one, and were always content to be with the other.
Their first night of reacquaintance had been an eye opener for both members. They saw fresh and old scars in the other, and memories spilled from drunken lips without a reminiscent thought. They had talked for hours upon hours. The set was done at nine, but they didn't leave until 3. It was amazing to go and remember the past, scroll through the letters they had sent to each other. Marcus and Carey could think for ten seconds and remember a single line in one paragraph of one letter. They began to bring forth old insecurities of the other and tried to pinpoint if it was still embedded in them. Carey realized Marcus was still uncomfortable with his body shape as he continued to straighten his waist coat, or awkwardly shift so his stomach wouldn't protrude as much. Carey thought he was perfectly fine, and as long as he was healthy, he shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable in his own skin. But Carey wasn't a brick wall, and Marcus saw emotions crawl across her soft and delicate features of a certain topic was brought up. He asked her about her acting and she tried to shy away from the subject. She talked briefly about Shame, and in her drunken stupor she talked about the nude scene. She laughed it off like it was no big deal, but he thought he saw a glimpse of uneasiness fade into her face. That night had been filled with confronted fears, and maybe they didn't see it at first, but that night gave them hope. Before they took off into the darkness Marcus gave her a hug, nothing special, a standard hug, but it felt right. Carey practically melted in his touch and she hugged him back with all her emotions and hurt floating in the air around them. After they separated they both felt tingly, like they're been zapped with electricity. Maybe it was then, in the pain and comfort, sorrow and joy, that they fell in love.
But here they were three months later that they opened up as wide as they could. Carey was in the process of moving into Marcus's flat and they had just returned from getting some froyo. They giddily giggled up the stairs and into his flat. He guided her, one big hand enclosing hers as he flipped on the lights. He saw all her stuff laying around, unopened boxes and an overwhelming sense of happiness filled his veins. Seeing her crap piled everywhere made his flat a home. Before it was just a place to crash after a heavy night of drinking. But now, now it was different. Now it was where she lived, where she got dressed, where she woke up. It was where they kissed, where they fell asleep together, where they could be carefree toward another. Maybe that's what made him decide to reveal every tear in the flesh of his worn heart to her. He sat down on the sofa, and coaxed her down beside him. She saw the tenseness radiate through his being and brushed her hand on his thigh. It was a gentle reminder that she was still there; a silent promise. He looked into her eyes and knew it was time to confront all his memories, but to her and only her.
"Carey, you are so wonderful, I can't even begin to describe your eternal beauty both inside and out, so I want you to know how much I love you. Three months ago, you saw me, battered and worn. My heart had been shattered into a bajillion pieces. And the whole crowd saw my pain and regret, and thought "wow what a fucked up guy, but it sounds like his fault" but you didn't. You saw how shitty my life had been and you just stood by me. And we talked for hours and you saw my hope smashed to smithereens. But you still stood by me. And I told you about Laura and how much I had been affected by her. I thought I knew love and I thought we would be married, and I thought I could never forget her. She was my first love, and the fact that I was the one that screwed it up made me sick for a long time. But then, I met you. And that relationship has seemed to fade away into the depths of my past, and now it's really just you and I. Which is wonderful. And I think because of that...I can go back and talk about it. I trust you more than anyone else. I-I couldn't even tell Ben how much I was torn by her. I can go back and remember that, at one time, terrible part of my past. And I can also get passed it, all thanks to you. You know me so well and I just want to share everything of mine with you. I want to share my house, my days, and my heart with you. I want to share my all because I love you." Marcus took his head out of his hands and looked toward her. He had started his spiel looking at her, but opening up was hard for him, and at some point he had to close his eyes. She looked back at him, tears brimming in her eyes. Her pale hand reached out to grab his own and she held it in silence, letting his words and his bottled up feelings sink into her mind.
Marcus began again, "Noodle, I was so broken and crippled by her. I was black and blue for years, but you're here now. And now that relationship seems nearly eradicated. I will hold on to us with all of my might. I promise, and I know that I can't screw this one up, because you're too important to me." Marcus finished for real this time.
Carey fell into his arms hugging him as close as possible. She was blown out of the water by what Marcus had said to her. He had confided in her more than any one else, even Ben, who was his best friend and who knew much more history between them than she ever would. It was incredible and she felt the exact same way. Face still buried in his neck she replied, "Marcus, I will hold on as long as you like, just promise me we'll be alright."
A/N: so...thoughts? I have over analyzed this song and have a deep deep feeling that it's about them. Maybe not, but probably.
