TBTILAF

Part 1 - Chapter 27

The sky began to grow dark. Vyola's eyes were heavy, urging her to sleep, but her brain was wide awake. She had just about cleared her thoughts when Patience spoke and then she had the sensation that she must be sleeping because she couldn't quite grasp what her friend had said.

"What was that?" Vyola asked.

Patience eyes were closed, her head still resting against the seat.

"He contacted me, too."

"Who did?"

"Danny. He called me about six weeks ago. I guess that would make it shortly after he had spoken with Jjeni."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Patience opened her eyes. They looked grey in the fading light.

"I figured I'd just let it drop. He didn't tell me he had reached out to Jj."

"You didn't tell Mandi?"

Patience rolled her eyes and exhaled sharply.

"Could you imagine? She always thought the worst of everything I did, no matter how innocent. She would have accused me of all kinds of things."

"Okay, okay. You're right about that. Why didn't you tell me?"

Patience closed her eyes again.

"I don't know. I don't know, Vy."

Vyola looked around and picked up an empty water bottle from the floor. She chucked it at Patience, hitting her in the shoulder.

"Hey! What did you do that for?"

"Patience, why didn't you tell me?"

Patience sighed.

"Because I was thinking about it."

"What?"

"Hear me out, Vy. Things had been so tense and Mandi was riding us so hard. We were on the road soooo much. Don't get me wrong. I told Danny to fuck off...but then, I thought about it. I thought about the possibility of being out from under Mandi's thumb, of working on my own."

"Ugh," Vyola crossed her arms tightly across her chest. Patience jumped onto the seat beside her.

"But I didn't do it, Vy. I thought about it. I was stressed out. That was all. I swear. I considered it but then I totally put it out of my mind. I didn't even think about it again until Jjeni told me what she had done."

Vyola scratched her nose. It was decidedly itchy. She nodded her head, searching her friend's face, "Okay. So why are you telling me now?"

Patience shrugged.

"Guilt. I've been a complete bitch to Jj for the past 48 hours but I'm actually not any better than she is."

Patience pointed her finger at Vyola.

"Don't you dare ever tell her I said that. She'd never let me live it down."

Patience pushed herself back over to the opposite bench.

Vyola swayed along with the car as they exited the highway. Street lights were slowly turning on, illuminating the black streets beneath them with soft glowing circles.

"What did Danny offer you, Patience?"

"C'mon, Vy. What difference does it make now?"

"Tell me, Patience. You've gotten it off your chest this far. I want to know."

"It's ridiculous. It's not important. It is absolutely silly."

"Patience, tell me."

Patience twisted her mouth around and grimaced.

"Okay. He told me he had this idea for me to break off solo with the name, get this, 'Tuffi' - two 'f's and an 'i'"

"Tuffi?"

Patience began to laugh and even though Vyola told herself not to, that this wasn't at all funny, she began to laugh, too. They laughed until tears streamed down their faces.

"And you considered this?" Vyola said finally, gasping for breath to speak.

Patience nodded her head.

"I know. I was confused. This man can tie you up in knots. But the thing is, he threw a lot of figures around, too."

"What kind of figures?"

"Marketing, sales, reach – everything we had Mandi handle."

Patience scooted back over to Vyola's side.

"Some of the things he said made a lot of sense, Vyola. One of the reasons Mandi was so pissed at me recently was I started questioning her. What is our marketing budget? How are you handling promotions? It made me think."

Vyola shook her head.

"I can't believe this."

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, Vyola. But to be honest, one of the reasons I'm mad at Jj is that – and again, just to be perfectly honest - I'm jealous."

"You - jealous of Jjeni? Is there anything else you're going to say that I'm never allowed to repeat to her?"

"I can't believe it myself. But I asked myself today, why am I so angry with her? Sure, she lied to us, but it's also because he called her first. He gave her the first shot. And, she said yes."

"But Jjeni betrayed us, betrayed girlRulz. She betrayed Mandi."

"I know it. But she was also ballsy enough to say yes to something I said no to. Considering the circumstances, she may be smarter than either one of us. That just pisses me off."

Vyola realized she had recently been having a similar thought. She took a deep breath.

"So bottom line, how do you feel now? Do you want to go with Danny?"

"No. No. Please don't misunderstand. It 's that Jjeni said yes. I didn't. I had an opportunity fall into my lap and, while I considered it, the main reason I said no was because I was scared. Me. Scared. That's right."

"Scared of what?"

"Of changing, growing. I love you and Jjeni and I Ioved Mandi, too. But I've gotten too comfortable."

"Too comfortable? Patience we just had our first number one song. We've JUST made it, just broken through. There is so much more for girlRulz to do."

Patience rubbed her eyes.

"And we are young. And we have contracts. But, I want more. Jj wants more. Is that really so wrong?"

Vyola felt like she should cry, but she couldn't. She was numb. The two people she was closest to in the whole world, were actually total strangers with thoughts and desires she didn't know. Vyola closed her eyes for a moment to let that realization sink in. When she opened her eyes again, she smiled and patted her friend's knee.

"No. It's not wrong. You have to feel what you feel."

"Oh, Vy," Patience hugged her and then pulled back.

"You know the strangest thing of all, though?"

Vyola wrinkled her brow, "No, what?"

"Why the hell didn't Danny call you? You're the most popular one in the group."

"Oh, Patience, please."

"You know it's true. You're the lead singer. I don't understand why he would call us and not you."

Patience settled back in her seat, closing her eyes once again.

Vyola hadn't thought of that but, why, indeed.