Blood Oath (Ruby Rose/Ares fan fic)

Eleven

"What was the funniest thing that happened to you at the MIT?"

I sigh while thinking. My years as a student weren't that bad but funny... that's not the word I'd choose to describe them. They were more boys than girls in my class, in fact I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of girls at my school, and they were kidding around all the time but I never took part of the jokes. Suddenly, I remember something...

"It's going to sound kind of... stupid," Ares shakes her head and smiles, encouraging me to talk. "Well, listen, I had this teacher of Software Design that was... a nasty piece of work. It wasn't just about his requirements to pass his subject but he behaved like a very obnoxious person, teachers and students hated him equally, nobody likes him. He was always in a bad mood and scolded us over little things, his classes were long and boring and worst of all they were the first ones on Monday morning. I swear to you, every Monday when the alarm went off I just wanted to die knowing that I had to face him one hour later. The point is that one of those days we all were waiting for him in the classroom, still half asleep to be honest, when the old grouch came in. He immediately started talking and I rushed to take notes as always till I realized that people around were a bit 'agitated.' The teacher kept talking giving his speech while I was looking at the boy sitting next to me out of the corner of my eye: he was blushing beetroot and his shoulders were shaking spasmodically. I realized that he was hardly trying to keep a straight face... and he was failing miserably."

Ares smiles at me intrigued by my story. The waiter brings our fries and I dip one in ketchup before shoving it into my mouth, it tastes delicious. The assassin chews her own fry and encourages me to keep talking.

"As I was telling you, I realize that all my classmates were trying to pretend that they weren't laughing their asses off so I looked up to see what was so funny and there, just in front of me, standing with his fists leaned on the table while he kept going on with his boring speech was my teacher... with his fly open showing part of his white underwear. I looked at my notes immediately trying to keep a straight face like my classmates were doing. To be honest, those were the longest two hours of my life trying not to burst into laughing while that man paced the floor in front of the white board with his little pee-pee almost poking out. I prayed that we wouldn't be tested on the content of that class because I wasn't paying attention to his words at all. Finally, the bell rang and the teacher gathered his stuff saying: 'I don't know what's going on with you today but you're looking at me funny.' And he left the class while we roared with laughing, I swear I almost fainted due to the lack of air and tears were running down my face. I haven't laughed so hard in my entire life... When he turned around to leave the class, we realized that he had a piece of toilet paper hanging from his waistband."

Ares, who had her chin on her hand while she was listening to me and watching the back door at the same time, opens her eyes in disbelief before laughing too. She grabs a fry still smiling but before she can take it to her mouth I say:

"That's not all." She stares at me frowning holding the fry in her fingers. "Since nobody liked him, nobody told him. He spent all that day out and about, from one class to another, with his fly open and the toilet paper flapping behind him like the tail of the kite. Students laughed, teachers laughed, the entire campus laughed at him. It became trending topic on Twitter and to this day it's still one of the most popular videos on YouTube."

This time my bodyguard laughs for a long time and she doesn't stop till the waiter places our burgers on the table. "What the hell...?" I think stunned. "This thing is bigger than my head, how on earth am I going to be able to eat this enormous burger in an elegant way?" I look shocked at the gigantic tower of bread, meat, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato and pickles that stands in front of me. I don't even know if I'll be able of holding it in my hands. Amused by my reaction, Ares takes a knife and cuts my burger in half skilfully, making it easier to handle... I still don't know if I'll be able of... till I see her biting hers, closing her eyes to enjoy the taste while the ketchup runs down her chin. I just found out two things: burgers cannot be eaten in an elegant way and the assassin has the same face eating hers than last night when she was... "Don't go there, Nira," my conscience warns me again. "Eat your food, it's getting cold."