Broken Strings (18+)

04

My hand reached for another can. Beer – it looked so appealing to me at the moment. Something’s drawing me to drink some more. I gave in and chugged my second can in no time.

Sebastian and I were just sitting in silence. Although it wasn’t bad, I broke it. “Why are you drinking?” I finally asked, looking at him. When he didn’t answer, I added, “Is it the same reason why you haven’t been sleeping?”

He looked up at me, with wide eyes. “W-what…”

He couldn’t even manage to finish what he was saying. He looked stunned. “Don’t deny it, Sebastian. Your eyebags gave it away. And this morning when I went to your office, you looked so… sad.” My chest hurt again when I remembered the look on his face. I know that he’s going through something, and to forget, he was drowning himself in his work.

I so badly wanted to know what’s making him sad. But I already asked enough. I just had to wait for him to open up. I was relieved when he spoke up. “Anj broke up with me.” I could hear the pain in his voice. Why did I have to ask?

Then I recalled the little I know of Sebastian and Evangeline’s relationship. “But she always does that. I mean, you’d still be getting back together, right?” I blurted out. It’s true. Evangeline had already broken up with Sebastian too many times. But in a week or two, she’d come running back to him. I really don’t know what’s up with that woman. I think she’s crazy, but Sebastian was head over heels in love with her, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

“Not this time,” he murmured. The two were already together when I became Storm’s girlfriend. Well, they’ve been on and off during those six years. But still, I witnessed how much Sebastian loved his ex-girlfriend. He never had any other woman – even when he was technically single. That’s the thing about the Peralta brothers: they’re the perfect boyfriends – showering you with affection, loyalty, and respect. Storm used to be like that. He was perfect for me – until he called me baby.

I had been trying so hard to forget that it ever happened, but I can’t. Funny how a single word raised a million questions in my mind. Who was his baby? Was he cheating on me? Having an affair? Since when? Why? The questions just won’t stop, and I was going crazy again.

I opened another can and gulped the beer down, my eyes shut tight. Somehow, the questions had been washed away. I opened my eyes and looked around.

Oh shit. Did I space out on Sebastian? What was the last thing he said?

They’re never getting back together.

“W-why did you b-break up?” I asked because I wanted to know. But I was afraid that I’d hurt him more.

“She dumped me,” he corrected me.

I tried to process what the difference was. Normally, the task would be a piece of cake. But in my current state, my head ached as it distinguished ‘they broke up’ from ‘she dumped him’. I just reiterated my unanswered question. “Why?”

“She’s pregnant,” he replied drearily. I stared at Sebastian with wide eyes. He’s kidding, right? No pregnant woman in her right mind would ditch the father of her child!

I waited for him to say it was a joke. He didn’t speak for a few minutes, and he looked so lifeless. That’s when I finally accepted that he was serious about Evangeline dumping him because she was pregnant. She’s really a crazy bitch! I’d never understand how her twisted mind works. Out of irritation, I grabbed another can and drank the beer bottoms up.

I felt a hand on my wrist, as if to stop me from drinking. Too late.

I dropped the empty can to the ground, and Sebastian’s hold loosened. “Explain to me, Sebastian, ‘cause I don’t understand! Why the hell would she leave you when you’re having a baby?” My head throbbed when I shouted.

I felt sorry for the unborn child. Sebastian was a wonderful man, and I’m sure he’d make a responsible and loving father. But the crazy bitch who calls herself a mother wouldn’t give him and the baby a chance to be a family.

“The baby’s not mine.” His voice was so soft, I almost didn’t hear what he said. The baby’s… not… his? How come?

Without thinking, I uttered, “But you’re her boyfriend…”

He just shook his head slowly. “She’s been having sex with her co-worker.” I was appalled by the revelation. How could Evangeline cheat on Sebastian? “I couldn’t give it to her, so she looked somewhere else,” Sebastian explained, as if he heard my question.

“W-why?”

“I was a worthless boyfriend, but I was just scared… scared that it’ll happen again. I didn’t mean to push her away…” Tears fell from his deep brown eyes. My hands itched to wipe them away. I didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t want to see him crying. If only I knew it would come to this, then I wouldn’t have asked at all.

I gave in and reached for his face. I brushed his cheeks with my thumb, wiping his tears away. “No, don’t say that, Sebastian. You’re not worthless. Yes, maybe you were scared, but you’re absolutely not worthless, you hear?” I couldn’t help but feel bad as well. I may not know everything, but I know enough. He didn’t deserve all this pain. He’s been nothing but a good man. “Why were you scared? What happened before?”

“Six years ago… I almost knocked her up.” Why did it suddenly sound different from ‘she’s pregnant’? I quickly scratched the back of my head. I was losing my reason.

My eyes widened. Was I surprised that they almost had a baby, or that Sebastian was no longer a virgin? No shit. We were in the middle of a serious talk, yet I was thinking about his sex life. What the hell is wrong with me?

But really, did I think that a 29-year old man like him was still sexually inexperienced?

© Cyan