"I Told You I Love You" | Rucus

Dream vs Reality

I'm sorry if the beginning Doesn't make sense with the rest of the story. I started writing and then got busy with family and dance, andI no longer knew where I was going with the story.

My friends were huddled around me, laughing historically over one of Zay's lame jokes. It felt nice, I felt at peace, finally happy.

Lucas looked over at me, the biggest grin on his face. "This is nice." He said before giving me a kiss. It was just a brush of the lips, but it was enough. We put our foreheads together for a second before looking back to our family.

The bell soon rang and we walked to class, listening to Farkle go on about something to do with science. None of us understood, but we nodded along while Maya criticized him.

I woke up with a huge smile on my face. I wanted to stay asleep. It was peaceful there, it was like before, when Missy didn't bother us. I missed that time, when the only thing we worried about was upcoming tests.

"Good dream?" Lucas asked. He looked incredibly handsome, even though he was just sitting in a hospital chair. I guess when you like someone, they are angels in your eyes. To other people, especially Maya, there are so many flaws, but I just can't see them. To me, all I see is perfection and another thing that makes Lucas Lucas.

"Really good dream?" I said after a while of just admiring Lucas. I knew I should look away, because it was probably awkward for everyone else, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. His eyes were so mesmerizing, so green, and not the bright green, but the calm olive green.

"About what?"

"Just us, before this all happened." I looked away from Lucas and at my hands. I had started fidgeting, afraid to look at any of them now, and I wasn't quite sure why.

"Hey," I heard Lucas' soft voice say, gently putting his hand on mine. "Don't feel guilty, you didn't do anything."

"But I did, I stopped taking my medicine and going to my therapist..." I responded, a little too much annoyance and anger in my voice than what was necessary.

"Why did you?" Maya said, finally speaking.

"I felt crazy, taking pills every day and seeing a therapist like I couldn't handle my problems on my own," I said with less anger and more despair. I felt the tears stinging at the back of my eyelids and I fought them back as hard as I could. "Then I just began feeling like a burden..." I couldn't fight it anymore and the tears came rushing out. Lucas put his other arm around me, now sitting next to me on the bed.

Maya and Farkle had gotten up from the chairs and now we're sitting on the bed with me. Maya was next to me; sitting opposite Lucas. Farkle was by my feet on the same side as Lucas.

"We're here for you," Maya said, her voice calm, as it has always been.

"I'm okay..." I said, trying not to cry, but the harder I tried not to cry, the more I did.

"You're not..."

"Maya's right, we will be here for you, just like you always are for us. We will never leave your side, no matter what you do." Farkle said and he was sincere.

"I love you guys.." I said, the tears fading.

"I'm so happy you're alive," Maya said and I giggled. This wasn't what I had in my dream, where I imagine myself happy, but I still feel the same; content and happy.

*next morning*

"Hello," A familiar voice said as the door opened.

"Dr. Geoff, nice to see you." My mom responded, poised and polite.

"You too, Mrs. Matthews, " he said, closing the door and standing at the edge of my bed.

"Do you have any news?" My mom's voice was more eager and less poised.

"Yes, in fact, I do, and it is good." He said, but he seemed monotoned and robotic about it. "There was no serious damage done to her body, so you will be able to take her home tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" My mom asked surprised, not at it being so soon, but at it being so far.

"Yes, we wanna make sure nothing happens overnight, and we need to get some paper filled out."

"What paperwork? It's one release paper." (I don't know if this is correct. Don't hate me.) 

"Well, we need to get a new prescription of anti-depressants for your daughter." He said, and paused, waiting for a response, but we didn't give him one. I guess subconsciously we were expecting this. "We also need to find a new counselor for your daughter, one that is strict on attendance. "

"No," my mom said sternly.

"What do you mean?"

"She doesn't need a strict counselor. My daughter is what some people might call a goody-two-shoes. She just didn't want to be seen as a freak. I'll handle finding her a counselor."

"Fine, ma'am." The doctor said and quickly left.

"Thanks, mom."

"It's nothing. I am trusting you by giving you a second chance and there won't be a 3rd." She said, very very stern, in what I like to call her lawyer voice.

"Yes, mom."