LOST IN CHAOS

five

friday 19:37
the concert
.....

Upbeat music. A guy with curly hair. His voice. Neon lights. Hazy vision. Blurred bodies. God, his voice.

That was how the show started.

The first song that played must have been one of the hits, because I was familiar to it. It was a pop song, so lively that the atmosphere was instantly set to that of a wild party. And I felt like an uninvited guest. Like an outcast.

Everyone around me started jumping and dancing and screaming and I didn't know what to do. I bobbed my head to the beat and my hands felt weird. So I shoved them inside my pockets and that felt weird too. Thank God, the people around me were too immersed in the show to notice me battle with awkwardness.

Finally, I decided that my attempts were futile. This crazy outgoing party-like atmosphere wasn't my scene. No matter what I did, this wasn't me. I could do a thousand other daring things, but I wouldn't be able to change myself. I was an introverted stay-at-home book-reading quiet girl. Not this. Who was I kidding?

So instead of trying to do what everyone else was doing, I decided to do what felt natural. I closed my eyes and took a long breath. And for a moment, I forgot the sound and the strangers. When I opened my eyes, I focused on the stage.

Noah Roy.

Even from the second row, I couldn't see his face properly. His smile, though. It stood out. It was so huge, it occupied half of his face. He was enjoying this as much as the crowd was. Probably even more. And its proof was the way his face, the way he glowed. And in that moment, I became deaf to the cheers and the song and the screams. In a hall full of five thousand strangers, I focused on only one stranger, Noah, and my fear slowly lifted. He was loving, enjoying, singing, and that brought a smile to my lips.

I looked around me.

The girl right beside me was jumping with her arms around her friend, giant grins gracing their faces. The guy in front of me was nodding his head so fiercely that his hair was dancing more than he was. So many had their arms in the air, most of them with their phones. I looked around, smiling, and saw that the people on the other side were singing-- shouting -- the words back to Noah. And when I turned around to look behind me, I saw faces, thousands of faces, that were glowing with happiness.

This was a special moment. A very important moment. Because it was the first time in my life that someone else's happiness had genuinely brought me happiness. It was something greater than magic. It was as if thousands of souls had emitted their happiness into the air and it all combined and now hovered above us, making it impossible for anyone to feel anything other than happy.

While I was admiring and for the first time that evening, appreciating the chaos, the guy to my left tapped me on my shoulders. I turned to look at him. He was tall and bearded, and in some weird way, his beard gave him a not-at-all-serious-or-mature look. "Hey! C'mon, dance!" he shouted at me above the music.

I grinned. With one of his arms around his friend and another filming the show, he grinned back.

Songs after songs passed. We all danced to the upbeat ones. We all waved our hands in the air to the slow ones. The bearded guy had his arm around my shoulders, and my arm was around the shoulders of the girl beside me. I was laughing with them. Somehow I was comfortable. These people weren't drunk and yet I was comfortable. They were strangers. We were all strangers to each other, and it didn't matter.

After hours, but what felt like minutes, the music quieted down and the lights dimmed. Everyone's attention was cast on Noah who was standing on the stage, breathing heavily, his wild hair matted down by the sweat coating him. Taking a deep breath, he spoke into the microphone, "Mumbai. Thank you so much for tonight. Thank you for one of the best shows. I wish I could let this never end, but I can't. So to say goodbye, this is the final song. My favourite one."

The crowd cheered loudly, it was a mix of disappointment and excitement.

But as soon as a soft guitar started playing, the venue went quiet. The song that played was acoustic, with only the guitar. This only made Noah's voice more prominent. And oh, how beautiful his voice was.

I definitely didn't know the song. But everyone else in the stadium did. Everyone was singing along with Noah, thousands of voices emulsified into each other beautifully. I didn't know the words, but it was okay. I just closed my eyes and my body swayed on its own accord.

I don't know if it was his voice or if it was the melody or if it simply was the moment. But it was so magical. Every lyric escaped Noah as if he had music inside his body. His voice wasn't flawless, but it was somehow perfect. I didn't need to open my eyes to know that he too had his eyes closed, feeling every single word as he sang them. It was so beautiful it ached. Tears threatened to spill.

My face was inclined upwards, I had an unconscious smile on my lips, and I was enjoying the moment. Noah's voice was like a silver string sewing everyone in the crowd together. Sewing me to the five thousand strangers.

And for the first time in my life, I didn't mind that I was alone. I forgot about my life. The past, the memories, the hurt, Reia. I forgot everything. I was living in the moment, truly. And most importantly, I was living.

.....