spinning webs

spun a web

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz...

Aside from the quiet noise coming from the speakers of his phone and the vibrations, the apartment was silent. The quiet was pierced by a loud, annoyed groan as a weak arm struggled to find the source of the sounds that were causing sharp spikes of pain to strike through a hungover head. Once the device was in-hand, Warren braced himself for the light of the screen and squinted against the brightness. I really should invert the colors on this thing when I drink so it's not so hard in the mornings... The thought was dismissed quickly as more pertinent matters flooded through his head, like getting some damn painkillers.

"Fuck."

The pain struck him so hard it almost made him want to throw up, but he'd already done that last night, and he wasn't really in the mood to dry-heave. With shaking legs and unsteady steps Warren made his way carefully to the bathroom and began rummaging through the cabinets for a bottle of Advil. Once in hand, he got a cup of water and downed two or three pills, taking a moment to steady himself against the counter before drinking a second glass of water. Slowly, he moved back to the bedroom, glancing at the pile of paper towels on the floor, displeased.

He took a second to breathe, calming the ringing pain in his head, then settled down into the covers of his bed. Despite the blinds being closed, a quick look at the window told him it was early/mid-morning, the sun pushing hard against the dark curtains blocking out the light. It was taking everything in him to not look at his phone, but he knew he would have to face his demons eventually. He could brace himself for the brightness of his screen, but he couldn't even come close to being prepared for what he faced in his notifications.

[14 New Messages: Jordan]

[5 Missed Calls: Jordan]

[2 New Messages: Ali]

[1 New Message: Marty]

[4 New Messages: Cindy]

[1 Missed Call: Cindy]

[3 New Voicemails]

Kyrn was unusually silent, missing from the barrage of notifications he'd received.

Among the many, many missed calls and texts, there was the usual game notifications and other apps reminding him to drink water, walk around, or giving him a small reminder to take some time and meditate. He never really listened to those apps, but he liked having them to remind himself that, hey, at least I'm trying to manage my depression and anxiety, right?

Unwelcome tears flooded his vision and blurred the screen.

"Fuck," He sighed, running a hand aggressively through his hair, the loose ponytail falling off during his sleep. The urge to pull and yank on the hair as an outlet for his inner frustrations was overwhelming, but the crushing wave of sadness that crashed into him overpowered the anger. He dropped the phone against the comforter, knowing he would need a minute to calm down and stop himself from breaking down. Why are there so many? Jordan must've told Ali, and everyone else heard from there. God, why am I so stupid? Why am I like this?

Regardless of his attempt to level his breathing, the invading negative thoughts caught him off guard and his breath caught in his throat, choking out a sob. They must be so worried, I can't believe I let them down, let Jordan down. I'd been so good for so long, where did everything go wrong? You were where it went wrong, Warren, the voices interrupted. All you do is make mistakes, don't you know that? You've never been good enough, and you'll never do anything right. You should just accept that before you ruin anyone else's lives.