ABANDON

Chapter 10 -- Time

    Jane stared up into nothing.  She had to get herself back to a more normal state, there were people to face and things to do, but her mind kept drifting back: back to her home, back to her parents.  Jane was not blind, she knew all her parents had sacrificed for her, to get her where she was.  A guaranteed career, a guaranteed life—and she had left it all behind.  Jane covered her face with her hands.  She should have been happy.  Any other person in her place would have been.  Jane imagined the sun shinning down on the other person's upturned face, her anonymous smile glaring at her.  This was what Jane should have been.  This was everything she was not.  And it didn't help that the more this other person came into focus, the more it resembled the other Jane.

    Jane shook the vision out of her head, her fingers pressing into her eyes.  She searched for something to comfort herself.  There was still one thing she had done right.  A lot of things had gone wrong, but there was one thing she had done right.  At least she had escaped from her old life, at least she had escaped from the other Jane.

    Her stomach growled noisily.  She put her hand on it, feeling it churn.  Her hands ached; she brought them up to her face.  The palms were dotted with sores where the skin had been completely rubbed off.  The inside of her mouth felt thick and pasty, but she knew there was no more water for her today.  She wondered if the sky had cleared, or if the sun was shinning.  She closed her eyes, visualizing the warmth on her face. She imagined the orange glow cast by the sun through her eyelids. How she wished it could be real—her sun, shinning on her face.  Her mind began singing the song. 

    Jane stopped it immediately, she hated that song.  Probably the words, Jane reasoned, the words talked about sunshine, that's why she kept thinking about the song; really, it had nothing to do with her.

    She threw off the blanket and stood.  The room was cold.  She unlocked the door to the shelter and stepped out.  The air outside the shelter was even colder.

    "Jane." 

    Jane looked towards the direction of the voice and found Captain coming towards her.  She met him half way.

    "Feeling better?" Captain waited for Jane's affirmative reply before continuing. "With the  additional knowledge from you, we had a reason to send out the birds.  You were right.  We have visual confirmation—three buildings.  And Jane, one of them has water in it.  Do you know what this means?  Hope Jane, you've given us hope."

Captain stared for a moment reminding Jane very much of when he had interviewed her. And when she thought of the interview, and the training that had haphazardly taken place in the weeks after, Jane felt something cringe inside her, followed by the heat of embarrassment.

    Captain cleared his throat before continuing.  "The first group is going to check out those buildings you saw.  You are going with them.  The rest of the skeleton crew and the insatiable Mr. Bellast are staying here.  Josh and Scott have come up with a plan to modify the transport using parts from the Holiday.  Mr. Bellast is so concerned about that shield, I think it best he stay with me, he'd only get in your way." Captain leaned in closer.  "I didn't know your brother was here. Convenient Jane, that he was put in the transport, when many more qualified people were not."

    "Qualified?  Like Mr. Bellast?"

    "Don't fight me Jane.  I'm on your side.  When we get back, and we will get back, remember - I'm the one who got you away from Earth and you know what I'm talking about, I'm the one who stayed silent when you ran away, and I'm the one who is going to get you back.  Consider that Jane, and consider this:"  Captain lowered his voice.  "Josh found your program.  He'd never seen anything like it, and he knew exactly who'd written it."